Why I'm Mad

At this precise moment,I'm laying in my bed tryna go to sleep. I've just come off the phone with Mr Man. Yea, I gave in and called him. I mean,more than anything i just needed answers. well long & short of it is he hadn't received the text I sent on sunday-well so he says and then goes on about a text I sent him about 3 weeks ago that he received 3 days ago. We talk for a minute,and by the end of the quick but undoubtedly expensive call I felt much better-seems once again,my mind runs away too much!

So anyway,'m lying in bed,thinking of the events of my day & it seems I remember what happened that made me angry all day-i'm a bit like Dora from 'Finding Nemo'. My short-term memory is atrocious,but remind me of something that happened in my childhood or tell the same story but adding in a few 'extras'-or tell me a lie, forget you've told me & then lie on top of the 1st lie, or worst still-do me wrong-best believe I'll remember that shit.

So back to the subject this morning,I get up-earlier than i needed to, cos i started work later than usual today-but I forgot. I'm ironing my work gear. My mum walks past me in the hallway & she's like 'you know D (her husband)called me this morning at 6.30 complaining of a toothache?' instantly my body tenses. Soon as I hear his name adrenaline pumps through my body-making my belly flip. So I'm like 'what's he calling you for? Are u a dentist?' she tells me that she told him to register with a dentist, he tells her he doesnt know what one to go to, she asks him why he's telling her that for,by which he responds, and its here my blood boils 'you're meant to look after me'. She said she then hung up the phone. I told her not to tell me anymore, cos it'll only get me more mad.

So I'm finishing my ironing, still thinking bout what was said. I swear some people have some muthafuking nerve! After everything that's been done for you, you wanna come in, shake up everyone's world & then wana try act like anyone owes you shit? Get da fuck outta here! Like,are you serious dude? Nah-you cant be!

What he did,i can't type right now. Maybe in another post,but it's deep, it's fucked up, it's most definitely unforgivable and it's made me actually think about comitting a crime-shit I was ready to kill him-no word of a lie!

I get to work & discover my co-worker,the only other person on my account is working from another building so i have to take all the calls, and as I mentioned couldnt play music *kiss my teeth**

And then my friend L, I hooked her up with a job at my work place-doing the good deed & all. She started on Monday & gosh, how i've forgotten (dammit) how frikin annoying she is. We kinda drifted over the years but spoke most weeks over email. She's the kinda chick that always has a story-that you cant comment on cos she doesnt stop yaking for more than a quarter of a second, and has this anoying chuckle after EVERY sentence! It's actually been 2 days-cos I wasnt in yesterday,but she's really working my last nerve! Why did i hook her up you ask? Well a combination of her really needing a new job, my work place advertising @ the right time & of course my £500 bonus once she passes probation. I've always said it,but hindsight is a bitch. So with that said, i'm now thinking, I have to wait 3 months for that bonus. After tax it's not £500 again. Once that cash is spent (determined not to use it on bills) whats left? A friend, whom I love dearly who'll drive me nuts everyday until who knows when! Aint that a bitch? On the plus side we dont work on the same floor, but she comes down to sit with me for lunch. She needs to get friendlier with the chicks up on her floor! Heaven help me!

But hey,it's not all bad-is it? I'm off to bed!