Random

Please excuse the randomness of this post…I'm warming myself up to blogging more regularly again
 
•WHY the heck is it so expensive tryna get to NYC? Seriously, the prices I've been quoted I need to sell every possession I own to get there! But the fight is not over I'm still reaching….just have to make a sacrifice or two…
 
•I've been getting migraines like a mofo recently….real intense like! I used to have migraines everyday for about 2 years…then one day they just stopped…but now they're back with a vengeance! I actually wanna rip my head off cos it hurts so bad! *sigh* I have been really stressed recently so that's probably the trigger…..and cos of the stress I've been looking like grater face…NOT feeling these stinking spots man! Guess it's another trip to the doctors! (great!!)
 
•You know 'they' always tell you to follow your mind…? If you're ever unsure anything, just follow your mind!!

My sister has been on my back about bring ing my laptop to my mum's house so that she can 'go on this site that helps me to revise for my exams' I'm thinking I don't wanna bring it, but true it's her exams, I wanna help her out as much as possible….so last Friday I go to Mums (for the 1st time in about 3 weeks). After 5 minutes, I'm ready to leave….my youngest sis has full roost of the house…and throws a strop when my mum tells her she can't go in the garden (which she does anyway) I give my sister the laptop…tell her not to be long, cos I'm not staying long. 

After about an hour and a half, I'm ready to leave. I shout for my sister that I'm leaving….15 minutes later, please tell me WHY I'm still waiting for this gyal to bring my laptop. I shout up to again with the added 'don't make me come upstairs'…a further 5 minutes pass…so I'm mad now. Go upstairs, pick my laptop off the bed…she's like 'lemme quickly finish this…' when I look my girl's on Hotmail…not revising…I close it, and roll on home. Later that evening, I attempt to use my laptop-I plug in the adaptor-I'm wondering why it's telling me the battery's not charging…when I look, the adaptor is broken! I'm madder than a mofo!! I only JUST replaced my last adapter….paid £35 for this new one…that lasted all of a month….so since then til now I've been without laptop as I had to wait til payday to buy a new one. I mentioned to my Mum what her sprog did…she's like 'is it' ……*fuming* So I've been taught (yet another) financially painful lesson….follow your mind and don't let people use your shit!
 
•Sunday just gone, was my friend's nephews christening. Now this means I have dress up (like a girl Ugh!!) So I had on black trousers, silver shoes, white top, black blazer and silver accessories…basically I looked good (if I may say so myself). I had to drop something off at my cousin's for my Grannys. So I park my car, and attempt to locate my cousin's flat.
 
As I'm attempting to do so, I pass a bus stop where two boys (seriously no older than about 16-17 were seated) As I'm trying to find the door, I hear 'ello, ello!' I'm not paying no attention cos well, I;m on a mission, and I'm thinking I know these young boys are not seriously talking to me!…next thing I hear 'Me know she hugly though dog, but me still waan say 'ello. (hugly was no typo-it was the emphasis on the word ugly with the JA accent lol!) I'm still ignoring it, cos it's like whatever innit bruv! If you thought I was ugly whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy are you tryna holla?! I done know it was nothing more than cos I didn't give him the time of day he felt weak and tried to save face infront of his bredrin!
 
I see my cousin pop her head out her door (which is a number of feet away from the bus stop) and I can still hear the boys chatting crap and shit…inside I'm laughing my head off….SO now I'm having to walk back past these fools back to my car….try know the boy had the CHEEK to say hello to me again!! I looked at them…and wouldn't you know it, the two of dem hugly  like!!! A classic case of the pot calling the kettle black!! I kept it moving…the poor ting…I was probably female numeral 160,516,501,234 that rejected him in his lifetime!
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I'm On My Way

So I haven't posted for what feels like a year and a day, but life's been a real bitch lately, and I haven't felt like posting about it or anything at all....so I haven't (lol), but I'm still here!

Hmmm....I actually don't have anything interesting to post about right now...Mon, I know you tagged me (grrrr!!!), but I don't have the brain space to think of 6 things to list, but I will get to it real soon (cos I know you'll hound me until I do lol).

Hope everyone is cool..I'll be back
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'You Know What You Would Do....

…for someone,
But you will never know what they will do for you'
 
My Granny always told me that-and throughout my life I've seen this to be very true.
 
I can't write about this in the context I would like, cos well…words are interpreted differently..but fuck it, I'm just gonna go at it….
 
I'd like to consider myself a good person…a good friend. One who would always be there, regardless of the situation, or what I'm going through….you ask me to do something-if it's in my power, it's done! I always believed I had the best set of friends….I thought my girls-my tight circle of friends that I've been around for a good 5-6 years (a few I've known for most of my life), were my peoples…ones that I could call on when I needed them etc…but I've seen that this really is not the case. Don't get me wrong, I'm not tryna say that they're bad friends….but what I am saying is that more recently, I'm seeing that they're not the people that I thought they were-that they claim to be…Most recently I've been dealing with some shit..and I've seen that though they say 'we're here for you' they're really talking a crock of shit, cos I'm yet to see them….
 
I'm not saying I want them on my line 24/7 or up in my face and ting, but a little something? I lie? Am I being unreasonable? Am I expecting too much? I know what I would do if my friend was going through the ish that I am, but of course, not everyone is the same…
 
…A friend that I've mentioned before in past posts, that only seems to pop up when she's in a madness-she's real flaky…I know this but it doesn't stop me from getting annoyed! It's like whenever she calls, it's always cos there's some kinda drama taking place!  Her dude was in jail for most of their relationship…and when he was being a total bastard to her, who did she call? When he came out of pen, and was still being a jerk, who was there…? Me! Now things are going well, it's like Milz who..? Just last week there was a madness, and who was there…? I hadn't actually seen her for about 2 ½ years…which is weird considering we talked a lot of this time…but I decided that I wouldn't be running down to her gaf all the time…she'd be in my area, and not swing by! But last week, I was on my way back from my Aunty's so I decided to swing by her house for a minute (that turned into 3 hours)…I spoke to her on Monday…she told me she'd call me back…try know I'm STILL waiting for the phone call….I'm just feeling like whatever! I'm there for her regardless..I've told her the madness I'm dealing with…and where is she….?
 
Just recently, I've seen that people who claim one thing seem to be about something else….If I don't call, text, email or something, then I don't hear from them….except some bullshit excuse….truth is it's all long…and I'm not even feeling it…..
 
I realise now, that it's long running people down….ultimately my issues and problems are mine…so I have to be the ones to deal with them…it's a hard lesson to learn but….I know what I'd do for someone, but I will never know what someone will do for me…' until I'm in a situation where I'm finding out….
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Gone

I know death is a part of life...but damn if the shit isn't hard!



This morning I received a phone call....my Aunty's friend that I've known most of my life is dead! Well, clinically dead. She had an epileptic fit last night, and her heart stopped. They put her on a life support machine...but she's brain dead.



My aunty just got a phone call from her friend's step mother...she said they have turned off the life support, and her body is slowly shutting down.....so now it's just waiting.....



My Aunty said last night she had a dream that all her teeth fell out (according to Jamaican dream interpretation, this means death) and she couldn't sleep at all.......who knew it would be her friend....



Just thinking constantly about how short life is....it's crazy how in the blink of an eye you could be dead. Laughing and joking today...being buried tomorrow....



She had like 5 kids....was about to get married....was looking forward to life.....and now those kids are without a mother...and her family is so messed up, who even knows what's gonna happen to them...!



....damn...life is so fucked up.....

I'm still here!!

I know I haven't blogged much. To be honest I just haven't been feeling it! Well, that and the fact that me and my laptop are not friends right now.....I haven't been reading/commenting much either...and it's pretty much for the same reason! Life has been a bit crazy of late, and I'm just tryna get things to slow down and just run at a normal pace!

As I type this on the trusty BlackBerry I've got a killer migraine, so I'm looking to close this post...so Rashan, sorry, I don't have the brain space to do my homework! I'll accept my punishment, whatever it is......

Ok folks, that's me...just thought I'd let you guys know I'm not dead....just tryna get the life in order....bear with me...

Also, just wanna give/say a big massive gigantic 'thank you' to my blog girlies.....you know who you are!!

Tom_Gurl
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