The Round Up

So it's been nearly a weeks since I've updated, and there's been a bit that's happened.

Ok, so last Thursday, after work, my, FE, SFAM & The Top Chick (MTC) met up in Croydon to buy flowers for the funeral on Monday. We went to the flower shop, and chose a really nice white lily spray. It was initially a small design-for a child, but the lady said that she could do it on a bigger scale for the funeral. It was quite an emotional thing-I mean for me, it was the realisation that this is really happening-that my LF's mum has really passed, and that the road ahead would be really hard, and painful! As we were paying for the flowers collectively between us 8 LF's SFAM came down to have a look at the picture-she turned up late & was in such a sour mood! She only said hi to the FE-didn't even look at me, and my SFAM came over and said hi to her, and she gave a pathetic smile. So after she went to look at the flowers, we decided to head to the pub for dinner & a drink. On route, LF's SFAM decided she was going home, and walked off-didn't say anything to anyone. You know when you just think, in light of the reason WHY we came here, and with everything going on you still wanna be dumb? She's still not talking me from when we had that 'honest meetings-no repercussions' thing, and to be honest, and despite the fact that we're all 24 year olds, she still felt the need to act immature! So she left, and we carried on to the pub, and had a good evening.

Friday-work as normal, and later in the evening, me & TTC went to Z Bar in Brixton. Was a seemingly ok night. Couple of wierds-but they're everywhere!!! So we're dancing to Funky House, and this Jamaican dude-who'd been standing beside me the best part of the night watching asks if TTC was my sister. I said no, she's my friend. He was like 'oh-cos I thought she was your girlfriend-is she your girlfriend?' I was like 'Nope' and carried on dancing, he was like 'I dont mean to offend' I was like yeah whatever....See for me, I know what my sexual orientation is-I'm secure in being straight, I'm also fully aware that I am female, and don't feel the need to wear dresses to validate myself as such-so when people think I'm a dude at first looking at me cos of my attire, it's doesn't bother me....cos like I said I'm secure in myself, knowing who and what I am. So anyways I tell TTC, and we start laughing, the dude then comes over again, and is like 'oh I thought she was your girlfriend', so TTC was like 'is he your boyfriend?' meaning his friend.He starts laughing, and then insists that I tell his friend what my friend said, I;m so not interested-more interested in dancing to the tunes that I;m hearing. The dude then decides to swtich and is saying to TTC that she's out of order-now my friend, she's not one to back down from an argument, and is getting heated. I was just like, never mind him! He then walked away....but we left the club shortly after that.

Saturday- Went to my nephew's b'day celebrations @ Pizza Hut...bless him-he had such a good time!! Also hooked up with my LF, her dad & her brother. They were shopping for drinks & things for Monday. It was nice to see her Pops-hadn't seen him for a long time-and he made sure he let me know EXACTLY how long I hadn't seen him!! My bad!! He told me to come round the house at some point before the funeral-so he could tell everyone that his daughters back! Bless him-He's like a dad to me-I wish he really was my dad....my dad's nothing more than a sperm donor-but i'm sure we'll discuss more about him at a later date.....chilled at my gran's for the rest of the evening.

Sunday-went to Covent Gardens with my aunty-spent a packet!! Chilled at my grannys-ate dinner, and then went to my LF's parents house. chilled there for the duration of the email-rolled my ass home after 10-permed my hair.....and went bed-absolutely knackered!!

Monday- morning of the funeral! Hardly slept considering i was so tired, but I was so anxious about the day. Headed to the house. when everyone arrived, the hearse came-I saw the coffin, my chest was tight.....my eyes whelled up. My LF's brother requested for some people from his church to come and say a prayer-there was no church service, so it was what he requested. We said a prayer, but I felt very unhinged about the fact that this preacher woman was going ON AND ON about the fact that they didn't believe in him etc...I thought, you're not being fair. Mrs A wasn't a church goer, and wasn't a hypocrite to want a church funeral, when she never went when she was alive, and this preacher woman, I felt, was trying them feel guilty as a result. And then they were asking if anyone had anything to say, and not many felt like they wanted to say anything, and she made everyone feel bad about that too-I mean, why does it have to be put into words, in order for the amount of pauin & grieve to be validated???? Anywho, went to the cemetry and Mrs A was buried. Her niece sang a song for her-and as she was singing, the sun came out for a minute-it was nice. From the cemetry, we went to the Wake @ a hall. There was nuff food & drink, and me, my SFAM, and another friend helped in the kitchen-by the end of it my feet were KILLING me. Back at my LF's parents house. Chilled there for the rest of the evening. I was emotionally & physically exhausted!! Mrs A had a nice send off, and it was so warming & touching to see the whole family supporting each other the way that they were. It'll be hard, but they'll be ok. We're all gonna be there to support them. Oh, and FE's SFAM realised that there was more to life that her sillyness, and was cool with me. She even hugged me as I was crying at the cemetry. We're cool now I think.......

Right back to work.....