You're Not That Black...

That’s what I was told yesterday by one of the Engineering Manager’s sons. He’s 8, and has some disorder that’s like autism, but very different. There’s a name for it, but I can’t remember. He’s got a killer memory, and can talk the hind legs of a cat!

The last time he came to the office to visit, he told me I was cute, asked if I had a boyfriend and became infatuated with my hair…..so anyways, he came in the office again yesterday, cos him and his dad were going to a football match. He pulls up a chair beside my desk, and he’s talking away. He sees my tattoos and asks how long I’ve had em, so I told him, I got the one on my arm when I was 16, and the other about 2 years ago….then he looks at my arm, and then says ‘You’re not that black’….I thought I heard wrong, so I’m like ‘Sorry-what was that?’ He repeats it, and then goes on to say ‘ well you know black people-they’re like….black…but you’re tanned’ I had to laugh….I was like ‘right, ok’ …then he got up, and went up to his dad’s office-but not before he had my foot up his ass! Sike! LOL! I’m messing!! I didn’t hurt him…he kept throwing compliments my way!
Him: ‘How old are you?’
Me: ‘25’
Him: ‘REALLY? You don’t look it! You look about 18!!’
Bless him, I need him to come in the office to flatter me some more!! LOL!

So apparently, I’m not black…I’m tanned….in the eyes of this 8 year old!

Came into work this morning, parked my car in a space, as I do, walk into the building, and the Bossman’s PA/Financial Controller/Queen Pin/Top Dog…(you get my drift) comes running down….she needs me to do her a ‘favour’. In the Business Park that my building in located in, parking is pretty scarce considering pretty much everyone who works in the office has a car, plus there’s the company vans etc. This is made worse by the fact that they (who they are I dunno) have decided to renew the water pipes, that run in front of the building so that’s half of the spaces gone. There’s a Tigra parked in one of our spaces….now bossman’s PA does not ramp when it comes to badding up people who park in our spaces. She’ll leave notes on your car, curse you the f*ck out….and in this instance get someone with a Smart Car to block your ass in!



I’m not gonna pretend I’m not slightly concerned…what if the owner of this car is a crazed psycho who’ll ram and ram until he gets out? I’d kill a mofo who f*cks up my car….but hey, if anything pops off, my company better dig into the phat ass money pocket and cough up for any repairs on my car!!

This is Tom_Gurl officially back from Blog Vacay!

Blog Vacay

I'm going on Blog vacation (cos it seems to be the only kinda vacay I can get right now) Shouldn't be for too long....if something interesting happens this vacay won't last too long...I've got some crap I need to sort out, so I'm gonna go do that. I will, of course be checking in with my blog fam though!! See you in a few.. .

Oh and can I share that this morning on my way to work, my Smartie:(the pic is not my actual car, but it looks exactly like this:)
Was almost crushed by one of these:

As I was driving up the road...Smartie (with me in it) was almost the sandwich meat between that big ole ting above, and this big ole ting:

Please beleive I almost cacked my pants!!

Ok peoples...Tom_Gurl has LEFT the building! Don't miss me too much! :)

Nothing

I've nothing to say...no ideas for a post....my brain is not functioning....work seems to be excessively busy for NO good reason, I'm tired alllll the time...to be honest I'm just soooooo fed up! I need a vacation (that I can't afford)...

*Sigh*

Guess I'll get back to work then.....

A Question....

Ok, so I've tried wording, and re-wording this question so it makes sense...but I can't get it right....here it goes anyway...I'm sure you smart and intellectual people will get what I'm trying to ask:

Do you think that someone with father issues has insecurities, and issues that they carry over into a relationship?

Do you think some one with unresolved father issues can ever truly be happy?

What's your take on unresolved father issues...and how do you reckon one can truly be in a happy relationship (or just happy) with so much hanging over one's head?

Y'all know I'm talking bout me here...I'm struggling ALOT right now...I've realised a few things, and I'm not liking it at all..but I don't know what to do...I'll get into that another day...but what do you reckon? And please be honest!

Looking Back

So today, I decided to change my blog skin.....and managed to lose much of my blogroll, and had to spend AAAAGGGGEEESSS trying to recover em (sorry if I've missed you off...you'll get back there soon) and added a few more along the way!!

But anyways, I was looking at previous posts, and came across
this post which was days after I broke up with Mr Man (remember him??lol!!) and Ms Diva said 'Won't be long before you're saying Mr Man whooooo?' Who would have thought it would have been a couple of weeks later that Soldier would enter into my life and we'd be dating and things?! I didn't even realise that I broke up with Mr Man in July and was dating Soldier in August...I could've sworn it was longer! -what am I like?!And Miss Diva-I really am like...Mr Man whooooo??

And oh-all of you loving people cussed me down to the ground about my smoking....but I can proudly announce that I have now gone 78 days without a cigarette!!! Yay for me! And for the record I have no cravings at all...infact I now dispise the smell of cigarette....they say ex-smokers are the worst, and I believe that....They are gross!

So here's to a smoke free, exercise filled (ahem) year ahead!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!

I've Been Tagged

The rules of the game are:
A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
C). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
'D). "NO TAG BACKS"

I was tagged by Miss Diva (she’s actually called Opinionated Diva…but I don’t call her that)

Two Names I go by:
1. Milz
2. Aunty Kima (by my cousin who couldn’t pronounce my name when she was younger-she just turned 7 and hasn’t even tried to figure what my name is…Aunty Kima it is then!)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Black jumper with silver stripes
2. My favourite black Nike trainers

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1. Friendship
2. Good conversation

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Travel
2. Laugh

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. A hug from soldier
2. To be totally debt free (and actually have money left in the bank more than 2 days after payday!)

Two pets you had/have:1. My grandparents dog named Max-he was the best! But he had Diabetes and had to be put down….(though I don’t understand why he wasn’t just given meds..but anyways)
2. My brother’s dogs..Tyson & Hustle
(as you can see I’ve never had my own pet…but those count!)

Two people you think will fill this out:
1.I have
2. no idea

Things that you did last night:
1) Went to visit the fam (Mum, siblings & grandparents)
2) Spent a VERY nice evening with Soldier

Two things you ate today:
1. Cup of tea (I know it’s not food but it’s only 9am….so….)
2. 2 cookies (to dunk in the tea…mmm very nice!)

Two people you last talked to:
1. Soldier
2. The IT guy

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Working
2. Chilling with Soldier

Two longest car rides:
1. London to Portsmouth
2. London to Birmingham

Two favorite holidays:
1. Any holiday that means I have a day off
2. See above

Favorite beverages:
1. Lemonade
2. Tea (with cookies to dunk!)

Person no longer alive who you'd like to talk to:
1. My God-brother Aaron
2. My Aunt Honey

People being tagged: Any & Everyone who hasn't already been tagged!

7 Years...Remembering

Today is my cousin’s 7th birthday. Today is also the 7th anniversary of the death of my Granny’s best friend’s grandson. He died exactly 12 hours after my lil cousin was born….

I remember it like it was yesterday. He had sickle cell, and had a crisis a couple days before, and was admitted into hospital. Apparently he hadn’t been taking his meds properly-if at all.

I was living with my aunty at the time, and I remember her coming into my room telling me her waters had broken. We called the ambulance….they came, and we headed off to the hospital. By the time we got to the hospital, my aunty was 7cm dialated…..In the next half hour my lil cousin popped out (literally)….the training nurse didn’t even get to put on her 2nd glove before my cousin flew out!!! She was born at 8.30am on 8th January 2001.

12 hours later in a hospital an hour away from where my cousin was born, lil D took his final breath…..8.30pm on 8th January 2001.

It was a day filled with happiness followed by sadness. Both my granny and his granny are convinced that lil D was waiting for my cousin to arrive, before he went…..they do say that with every birth, there is a death…and this was the case.

We all felt so guilty being happy that my cousin was here, when a family we knew very closely were feeling such heartache…it was almost unbelieveable.

8th January 2008 marks the 7th year….of a life brought into this world, and a life that left it……Lil D-you’ll never be forgotten….Continue to Rest In Peace……Happy Birthday Miss T-my favourite lil cousin!!

8th January…forever a day filled with emotions…

Dilemma...

So first things first, Gramps came out of hospital today. He's home resting...still got a terrible cough, but other than that, and being a bit weak, he's doing well.

A family friend is being faced with a dilemma...it's one I personally wouldn't want to ever have to make...and she's having a tough time...

Basically she's got serious eye problems. She's had probs ever since I can remember...she's a mother of 3...her youngest is about 2 months (if even that) and she's just found out that she's pregnant again....now her eyes have gotten progressively worse over the years, and she went to the eye doctor couple days ago. She's been told that she's basically going blind...she can barely see out of either eye....they're saying that in order to correct this thing with the eyes (I really can't remember what the problem is) then she's gonna go blind. As she's pregnant, they're saying she has to have an abortion and undergo the necessary surgery to sort out her eyesight....if however she decideds not to, she'll be blind by the time the baby's born....

Her boyfriend has basically told her to go for the op, but she's still undecided...it's kind of a hard choice...one that I'd hate to have to make...but if this was your situation what would you decide to do......??

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Suspect....

Lemme run this sito by you.....to me it just screams suspect....inside job....whatever else you wanna call it...but what do you call it....

Here's the ting: My cousin was asked, by this family that attends the church that she (and my Granny & Aunty attend) to stay at their home for a week, whilst they go off on holiday to Jamaica. My cousin agrees....she stays there....everything's fine. Come New Year's Eve my cousin goes to church for 'Watch Night'. She leaves church after 2am, and heads to her home...she didn't want to head to a house that wasn't her on so late in the night.

So anyways, New Year's Day, she heads back to this family house to discover it's been broken into.....now hear this.....This house is apparently quite a big one....within this house there was 5 PCs and Laptops, a plasma TV, recording equipment (a few members of this family do the media...CDs and DVDs of the sermons for the church)...basically any burgular's dream. Wanna know what was stolen:
1 Laptop
A Nintendo Wii
A watch (that was wrapped up, and carefully unwrapped, taking only the watch)
Half of the money that was hidden in the wardrobe in one of the bedrooms)
2 of the vehicles that was parked in the front drive....

OK people....Does this not scream suspect to you? I mean, how many break-ins have you heard about where the robber decides to take only 1 of maybe 3 easily portable laptops...has time to carefully unwrap any box to remove a watch...only takes half of easily accessible money....?? Right.....me either!!

So anyways, my cousin calls the police, but being as they are, they take a year and a day to arrive, so she calls two of the Church brothers to come round and stay with her until they arrive. She calls the family to tell them of the break in-and you know what the first thing these people say?? 'you should've been there...' Hold on one minute my sista.....how about...are you ok.....are you hurt??' nope...you should have been there! Never mind the fact that she could have been raped, shot, killed anything had she of been in the house, coming face to face with whoever was up in the house...but these folks did not care.

They came back yesterday and cussed out my cousin, talking bout she should've been in the house, if she'd been there it wouldn't have happened (please note, my cousin is about probably an inch or so taller than me-making her 5'1 maybe 5'3 at the most, and is as skinny as a bean pole but um yeah-she meant to fight off anyone)...only one of the family members asked her if she was ok.

Now these folks-their mouths run like it doesn't belong to them...and has already started running their mouths about my cousin with the other people within the church....talking bout why did she have the church brothers in the house yada yada....I mean damn!!!!

When my aunty told me this, I was mad as all hell.....not only does this whole ting seem like a set up, but they're trying to lay the blame at my cousin's feet-asking her who did she tell that they were going away-erm...try your daughters who told the dudes down the street, that the reason why they couldn't go to their New Years Eve party was cos they would be in JA.....hmm...exactly!

So.....Suspect or not suspect......What say you??

The Bad Books

Thank you all for the concern & well wishing for my Gramps. I've just come home from seeing him, and he's doing so much better. He's definitely on the mend....he thought the doctor told him that he could go home tomorrow, but they took some samples today, that they're awaiting results from, and I think when he goes home depends on those results.

Soldier...*sigh* he just doesn't have a clue....and to be honest, right now I don't have the energy or brain space to direct him...tell him what he needs to do, how he needs to act in order to support me through this...New Years Eve he called me when he was on his break...at this time I was at my Granny's waiting for the ambulance to head to the hospital...I tell him that I was off to the hospital etc...and throughout the 2 minute conversation, I just felt he was so insenstive to the situation. I know he was trying to lighten my mood, but it wasn't working. When I left the hospital on New Years Morning, he'd just finished work and was calling to wish me a happy new year and find out how my gramps was. I was on my way home, and he was round the corner from where I was. So I go off to meet him, and we head to his house. From when I actually got into my car I just started crying...I couldn't let my Granny see me cry-I had to be strong for her, so soon as I was on my own the emotions overcame me.....

So anyways, as we drive, he holds my hand and he's talking to me about nothing in particular. He tells me that he'll be coming to see me in the morning...so I say-why don't you just stay at mines? He's like 'I'll come in the morning' Ok, whatever. Drop him home...and we're sitting in the car. He tells me that he doesn't think I should be on the road but 'he's too tired to drive'....he tries to hug me, but I push him away....then he tells me he'll speak to me later, and steps out of the car. Please note, that I was crying when he left the car. I sat there for a minute trying to get myself together, before I headed home. Didn't hear from him until the next day, when he kep t texting me asking if I wanted him to come and see me...I was so hurt but his actions the night before. Truth be told, I just wanted him there to hold me...to console me...to tell me that everything was gonna be ok...but he didn't...cos he was tired. Long story short, he came by the house, I told him how I felt about what happened the night before, and he just couldn't comprehend what I was trying to get through to him. He's like 'i don't know what you want me to say or do..' And that shit gets me mad...I mean, I've already told you how I've felt in the simplest of terms, and you're asking me what you should do?? Are you for real?? I told him that if he needed me to tell him, then please believe you'll continue to wait. Told him I hoped he & sleep were very happy together, cos clearly sleep was more important than being there for your girl....He can call me at 2 in the morning, and even if I'm asleep, I'll still talk to him for an hour, I can be in the hospital for 5 hours but I'll meet him, and take him home...I mean, for me it's nothing for me to do these things for him...but for him it's not the same.

Now-is this normal male behaviour? Being totally oblivious to everything around? My friend reckons he may have needed me to literally spell it out for him...but I don't have the energy for that....the last I checked, he was a grown ass man...I'm still a bit hurt, but I've got more important things on my mind, and other things that to me are more important than tryna figure him out right now.....So yeah, he's in my bad books right now....I haven't spoken to him today...just can't deal...not today-I'm so tired it's a joke....so people-i beg you help me out here..am I making this into something bigger than it really is??

A New Year

So this is the 1st post of 2008....and I had such high hopes for it being all about how my New Years Eve was spent with Soldier etc....well that didn't happen.....I, my dear blog fam, spend the bringing in of the new year in the Accident & Emergenvy Department of the hospital.....My grandad's ill again, and we had to take him back in.....

I knew yesterday was gonna be a funny ole day....I didn't sleep A WINK! It was my SFAM's b'day on Sunday, and we'd been out celebrating. I got home at around 12, had my shower and was just lounging around the house. Come 1am I figured I should be in bed, as I had work the next day. Soldier calls me at like 2am, and decides he wants to talk....so we talk for about an hour....3am onwards I attempt to sleep, to no avail. Get up for work-totally knackered! Get sent home at 12pm (yeah!!!) and go out shopping with my SFAM & LF. On my way home, my aunty calls me and asks were I am...I tell her on my way home. She tells me that she thinks my grandad's taken ill again....instantly my heart sinks to my toes.....I rush round there, and when I saw him....I just wanted to cry. He was sitting on his chair, just looking around aimlessly. He couldn't talk, couldn't stand-couldn't do anything. We called for an ambulance, and they came and took him.

After 5 hours, he'd been moved from A & E onto a ward. He'd had a cold that turned into a chest infection and he was severly dehydrated. He was on a drip and everything....but today I can report that he's doing so much better. He's still really weak, but he's talking, and eating and drinking. They reckon he'll be in there for a couple days....thank the Lord...

My dad was there-overly trying to talk to me about crap.....he's like 'oh, you know you can come to me house-you don't have to wait for an invite' I was like is it? Then he's like 'I'm gonna invite you over for Sunday dinner one sunday' My response: 'Is it?' I'm just thinking, I beg you stop gassing bruv, cos you're just saying this shit to make you feel good! I spoke to him on Christmas Eve, and he told me he was coming by my house to see where I'm living. He said he'd come by before I went back to work (which was NYE) and yup-he didn't show, and there was no further mention of it. I'm just glad I'm at a point where I let whatever he says go in on ear and out the other...I ain't sweating him....

So yeah, right now, I'm thinking what a crap start to the year, fuelled with the fact that Soldier is not in my good books right now (not feeling to go into it), I'm just hoping that from here on in, 2008 just gets better and better....cos bwoy...I really don't think I can take any heartache, and pain....or anything I endured in 2007, in 2008....

I hope that all of you guys had a much better start to the new year!!!!!