It's All Over

So....Christmas is all over....it's all done...All the hype and crap for one day, and it's now all done! Can't say I'm sad about it either!

I did however have a really good Christmas.....spent the morning with Soldier and then went to my mum's house, to have a look-a-see at what the kids got...then went on to my granny's where I remained for the whole day! Had roast breadfruit for breakfast...hmmm..it was too good (my mouth is watering just thinking about it again!) then had the usual turkey and stuffing for dinner.

This Christmas I had a lot to be grateful for. The main thing being that my Grandad was alive and was spending Christmas with us. He's been through alot, and he's still recovering-it's a long, slow, painful process, but he's still here, and that's something, cos we almost lost him twice....his friend who came to visit him when he was in prison died shortly after my grandad left the hospital...so it's been with the grace of God that he's here with his family.

I ate so much on Christmas day it was ridiculous....I'm definitely gonna need to hit the gym come January...that's the truth!!

Boxing day wasn't as grand as the day before.....Spent the whole day in my house bored....didn't have anything to do or anywhere to go. Went to my granny's for dinner....my other aunty and cousin were there....my fave aunty's fiance came down as well and we had a good ole post-xmas dinner.....Went home, Soldier came by....then I dropped him home-he had to be up at the crack of dawn this morning....

And so did I! There was a Sale at a store called Next....they do really nice kids clothes (in particular) and my sister goes every year, so this year I decided to go.....my goodness!! The store opended at 5 and we got there at about 4.30...and there already was a fat queue. When the doors opened.....man oh man...these people turned into animals!! I don't know where I thought I was going...I hate shopping and I hate crowds....and the two together...my goodness!! There was arguement in there of course.....Some woman said to this other woman (who had 2 kids with her) why she brought her kids to the store....the woman with the children just happened to be a ghetto-ish black female....and bwoy did she start cussing-which is fair enough-cos I would have done the same! Don't watch me!!!! And that is pretty much what she told the woman (but with a heck of a lot more expletives!!) My sister spent £200...I spent £9! lol! She got a lot of stuff for the boys, and I got 2 tops. I'm sooo picky it's annoying...but I was glad to have come away with something!

It's now 6.30am as I type this. I've got a lot on my head...and I'm starting to feel tired...so I'mma head off to bed!

I hope you all had a pleasant Christmas...and if I don't get back here before the year's through, Happy New Year....and I hope 2008 brings you nothing but happiness, success and prosperity..

Much Love!!

Tom_Gurl

We Will Rock You

So tonight, my work people paid for the Office ladies to go to see 'We Will Rock You' at the Dominion Theatre in London. Now as I've mentioned, I'm not necessarily a big fan of doing things with the work folks in my personal time, and I was soooo not wanting to go...especially cos I felt like I wasn't given the choice...the actual convo went like this:

Her: What are you doing on the 21st of Dec?

Me: Erm....nothing I don't think...w....

Her: Good, cos we've got tickets to go see we will rock you!

Me: what's that?

Her: It's a musical based around Queen's greatest hits

Me: Right!

Her, being my line manager.

Please believe I was mad, cos the 1st I knew of this ting was when the tickets were bought, but you know what, whatever-it's done now! Now considering I'm not necessarily a big fan of Rock n Roll, and I can count on one hand the amount of Queen songs I actually know, I was dreading this evening like you wouldn't believe.

We left work, and headed out to London to meet the Engineer boys....they were guzzling alcohol-the usual way they do...my line manager & office manager thought it was real funny to take random photos of me when I wasn't noticing-erm...that shit's not funny! Believe it took everything for me not to punch my line manager (in particular) in the face...that stupid camera flash was gonna blind me...and I know come Monday she's gonna put them shits on the shared drive for all and sundry to see....Cha!

But anyways, get to the theatre and the show begins....and ladies and gents...I can actually say I thoroughly enjoyed the show....lol-so much so, for a minute I considered getting Queen's greatest hits or some shit....oh and I discovered that I know alot more of their songs than I actually thought...It was a really good show...I'd even recommend it!!

It's really amazing the way Ben Elton was able to incorporate the screenplay for this, and make it relevant to all the Queen tracks....it was really good!! Too many flashing lights though....seriously BRIGHT lights, stobes and things.....but that aside it was excellent!

When it was all over me and my friend exited mighty quickly to catch the train back home. Waiting for me outside the station was the lovely Soldier, who left his house to meet me, and then dropped my friend home...and then me home...and then headed back home! Aww bless him...and he's got work in the morning...I didn't get to the station til after 11pm....

Speaking of which-did I mention that he's left the Army? I can't remember if I did, but he has anyways-started last week at his new gig-driving buses, and getting paid crazy money for doing so!! I tell ya if those buses weren't so damn big I'd consider driving em...seriously the pay is soooo sick!! But after driving my Smartie for so long, even driving a Ford Focus feels like I'm driving a limo! Guess them double deckers are out of the question then! LOL!! But yeah, he's working, and seemingly loving it...so all's good there!!

Anywhoooo, one must go now as I'm tired as hell!!

If I don't come back here before Christmas (I'm planning to, but just in case you know) I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and *Jamaican accent:* nyam til uno belly buss. I hope your holidays is filled with much laughter and love, and 2008 is an even more properous year for you all.

Much Love

Tom_Gurl

My 1st Time

Ah huh…I know what you lot were thinking about…but how about my title referring to:

Friday being the 1st time I’ve attended a Christmas party held by my current employer. Despite this being my 3rd Christmas there, I’ve never had the desire to spend an alcohol, cheesy music filled evening with them people!! No offence to em…I mean they’re a nice enough bunch, however I’m very keen on keeping my personal life and work life VERY separate…and this means being with the work peeps during working hours (when I’m paid to do so) and not during my personal time-you know? I know a lot of them thought I was being unsociable, but did I care? NOPE!

This year though, my friend is now working here, so I ventured into the unknown of these work shindigs. Erm….yeah, I won’t be back next year. It was cool cos I came home with the same amount of money in my purse that I left with, since boss man hooked us up with cabs to the venue, and home again, and had a fat-ass tab at the bar we stopped at before we headed to the actual place…but after the meal, I was ready to go home!! I was thoroughly bored for the duration of the night! I kept trying to get Soldier to come pick me up, but he thought it was too funny that I was being tortured, and therefore left me there to continue to endure it!!

I am 1 out of only 2 black people that work for the company, and in stereotypical form, everyone kept trying to get me to dance ‘I know you can…..come on, I know you can dance’ Why-cos I’m black?? Newsflash-not every black person can dance!!! It was so irritating….but yeah, I was able to survive not entertaining them lot by dancing….though when it was home time, I did a little jig cos I was so happy!!!

Saturday was my 1st time doing overtime-and it was hell! After minimal amount of sleep, connecting PC’s was NOT a good way to spend one’s Saturday. However, come payday I’ll be grinning from ear to ear!!!

My 1st time I’m admitting to myself that I’m sinking. That I need to grip on my life and the things in it that I can change and do just that. I’ve admitted to myself where I need help, and have made active steps towards receiving that help. I’m on route to sorting myself out, and allowing myself to set realistic New Year Resolutions….I need a healthier, happier 2008!!

And finally…..my 1st time with Soldier-y’all know what I mean…I’m all grown up! ;). You can close your mouth now….I know by the time you get here, nothing I said previously will be registered in your head…am I right???

I can imagine the burning questions you all have….but um…I’m stepping out now-the kitchen’s too hot! And you know what they say about being unable to handle the heat and all that!!!

Toodles!!!

I'm Coming Back

Figured I might as well post something today…..I’ve been battling with some inner demons, but right now, I think it’s safe to say I’ve come out the other side a more enlightened person (I think anyways)….well since the last post a WHOLE buncha stuff has happened, but some of it I can’t remember, other stuff is too boring, and the rest I just can’t be bothered to type about-cos I’d be here all day!!

What I will say though is:
-My brother has officially lost his head!! Remember this? Yeah well it’s still ongoing. He still hasn’t paid the debt! It’s gotten so bad that my mum went to his house and took his plasma tv. He then calls her up running off at the mouth talking ‘bout she had no ‘right’ to go into his house and take his tv (but the Bailiffs have the right to take her stuff for his debt!). He straight disrespected her…told her to shut up and hung up the phone on her! Now, I’ve had my fair share of arguments and disagreements with my ma, however I would never hang up on her nor would I tell her to shut up….I just wouldn’t disrespect her like that you know? But my brother has no respect for anyone! And it’s a damn shame! This whole thing has made my mum open her eyes to see that that boy thinks about no one other than himself! She says she’s done with him, but only time will tell!

- Me and Soldier are still together. It’s been a hard few weeks, as there’s been the dreaded Baby Mama Drama….don’t worry-it’s no sito where y’all are gonna need bats and tims and shit…but this chick has been causing him major stress which has in turn been stressing me! Bless him though, he’s been really trying to not involve me, which has worked, except he was different…can’t explain it…but different. We spoke about it all….and he’s understanding where I’m coming from. We’re both making major efforts with each other, and we’re cool.

He came by my house yesterday with the lil princess-cute as she is. Spent the evening at my house. When he was leaving I had to shake my head! Right now it’s overly cold-like last night it was -1 degrees…..as he’s walking out the door with the chile, I ask him-where’s her blankie? She doesn’t have one! Now people….picture this puh-leease, she has this thing that’s being used as a coat-IT’S NOT…it’s some thin ting that in my opinion should be worn in the house-but whatever….she had on a dress, no tights…..no hat, and no blankie-it’s cold!! The funniest thing is when he opened the front door he had the CHEEK to be like ‘oh my gosh it’s freezing!’ throws his hood on his head…meanwhile lil princess is being carried in the car seat with no blankie to cover her up! But I said nothing more than where’s her blanket…I don’t want him to think I’m being overly critical-cos more time when I see her, I have something to say (like when he came to my house with her in this same coat thing with nothing else-no vest or nada, or when she came in just a blanket and no coat) Maybe it’s just me, but surely if it’s cold outside, the same way you dress appropriately for the weather, you should dress your child in the same way? But hey-what do I know? I keep my mouth shut-you know?

Erm….what else??? It’s nearly Christmas…and I’m very bah-humbug! I don’t do festive season…it sucks!! I hate that people go sick, psycho, crazy & loopy over this time of year….and the day after it’s all over! Ah well….hopefully it’ll pass by painlessly!!

Hey

Hey guys!

I know I haven't posted for a lil while.....got some stuff going on..and ting...haven't felt like posting AT ALL!

Hopefully next week I'll be back on top form!

Hope you're all ok!

:)

2nd Post As A 25 Year Old

Welcome back to all of my US counterparts (which is all of you) who were absent from Blogger celebrating and all that! Welcome back!!

My Birthday: FE called me at 8.45am telling me she’s coming to get me….she comes by my house and we (the girls) all go out for breakfast to this café called Negril-real JA breakie….you know it was TOO good!

Didn’t see Soldier at all, when he came back from the church ting, his driving buddy said he was ready to go back down to camp so he had to go. Please believe I was angry, and upset…more upset than anything though. We spoke, but where I was so upset, I wasn’t tryna hear anything…when I spoke to him later that evening, he was apologising and stuff, but I wasn’t tryna hear that either because to me he wasn’t apologising for blowing me out, he was simply saying sorry cos I was upset, and I was tryna show him that, but he wasn’t getting it. To him, because he told me what he was doing, that was enough-Bruv-it's really not!!!

Obviously what’s done is done, but I was really trying to get him to see why I was so upset…..he eventually understood yesterday. He was telling me that his bredrin (the dude he took to church) was his bredrin from whenever and how they would always be rolling together before we (me and him) got together etc….I told him I understood that, I also understood that it’s hard to say no to your bredrins mum-however, at what point do you consider me? What he couldn’t see was that they see him as a taxi service-they knew they wanted to go to North London-NO ONE in this family can drive YET they hire a van…..then phone Soldier and say we need to go here can you take us!!

I told him that I wasn’t asking him to choose between me and his bredrin-but what I wanted him to do was consider me and my feelings, and also be willing to put me 1st sometimes! I mean overriding our plans to be a taxi for them-on my birthday…??? Are we never able to make any plans to do things together because something may ‘pop up’ with them that you’ll have to bail out on me for???

Yesterday I threw all these questions at him, explained my side, and ‘light bulb moment’ he got it! He understood! And I got a heartfelt apology!! We’re cool…I’m not hostile (lol) towards him anymore!

So I’m now a quarter of a century….I don’t feel any different, it doesn’t feel exciting or anything….but I can say ‘I’m 25’…I just gotta keep reminding myself of that cos I can see me being ‘24’ for a few more months yet!!!

Randoms: I discovered that I can lay laminate flooring….my knees, elbows and fingers are sore beyond belief (get your minds out the gutter!) but my mum’s living room looks all professionally done! I’ve got skills I didn’t even know that I had! How sick is that??

Didn't get the j.o.b that I went for....shame really cos I coulda done with the extra money...but hey, it's nothing major-back to the drwaing board and all that!

High Pants that surpass Simon Cowell:



I have nothing more...

It's My Birthday....And I'll Cry If I Want To

So I will....


Woo Hoo-Happy Birthday Me!

So Annoyed

I've just come off the phone with Soldier, and I'm so annoyed. So it's my birthday weekend this weekend, and initially there were all these plans: I was gonna go down to Wiltshire for the weekend, and then we'd go on to Swindon on Sunday for a day out. Then that changed, and he decided that he was gonna come up to London. We'd go cinema to see 'American Gangster' on Friday night, and then go out for the day on Sunday.

I asked him if he was definitely coming down on Friday-he's on strike from driving-not that I'm surprised cos Petrol now costs the same as a damn mortgage, and driving on the motorway can't be fun...so he now relies on his friend who drives up to London with him. He tells me yeah, and that I should check the cinema times. Showing is at 8.30pm-I know for a fact that he won't be in London by then.

Then I ask him what he's doing on Saturday. He tells me that he's getting his daughter (usual Saturday occurance) I was like ok cool, then he's like and then on Sunday I'm going to Tottenham (North London). I ask why he's going there, he tells me he's going to some church convention ting with his bredrin, and his bredrin's mum and bro etc. I'm mad now cos right there that's our plans out the window. I'm annoyed cos he'll be playing chaffeur to his bredrin on my birthday! I'm even MORE annoyed because I'd planned my b'day dinner (with the fam and friends) for NEXT weekend cos I knew that me and him had plans for MY BIRTHDAY!!!

So after he told me that, I just wasn't in the mood for talking. He's constantly asking me what's wrong, and I'm constantly telling him nothing's wrong. I mean, why do I need to spell it out for you-surely you can see why I'd be annoyed-but nope-it's flown clean over his head! Shit-to make things worse-the bwoy didn't even invite me to the convention ting! I mean really what gives? I'd rearrange my whole weekend-my usual Sunday routine to accomodate the plans that are now no more.

I'm so pissed!!! So now, technically my birthday's ruined, but frig that-I've said from the jump I'm not letting anyone spoil my day. I won't be doing anything, but I damn sure won't be in my house feeling depressed and shit! I'm going to Granny's for some good chicken, rice and peas, roast potatoes and some veg! Yuh Get Me!!!!

Now I'm bout to prepare myself for a drama-filled conversation with the chick I've previously mentioned here. Cha-it's gonna be some quick ting anyways cos gyal like me needs to be on top form for this interview tomorrow!

*Sigh*...I'm Out...TG

1 Step Closer

I got an email today from the recruiters for the job I'm going for. I passed the assessment I did on Monday, and have an interview next Thursday. I'm mad excited cos I got through (believe that assessment ting was NOT easy)...So I'm one step closer to a much more demanding, more exciting J-O-B and a phatter pay check!! I'mma just keep praying that I get through the next stage....Pray with me blog fam....

Wat A Ting!

Today has been...um...interesting....

I get into work late-after battling my way through traffic! When I get in, my friend tells me that my mum called my extension. So I get set up, and I call her back. She tells me to call my brother, and tell him to call his dad to get money. I'm like what's going on? She tells me that bailiffs came to the house this morning, and dropped off a letter informing her that they were coming back tomorrow morning to remove goods to the value of £550 (I'm rounding up here). I'm like where's that come from?

Basically my first car was my older sister's old banger. When I got my Smartie, the old car sat outside my house until I had sorted out getting it scrapped. In between this time, my brother decided to take the car and drive it around. For the purpose of cheaper insurance for me, the car was registered in my mum's name. So whilst my brother's driving about, he gets a ticket which he failed to pay. It went from £60 up to £110. Endless amounts of letters came in about it and each time my mum gave them to my brother, who swore up and down that he had paid the fine. Well clearly he hadn't cos now the amount owed is 5x the initial amount, and these people are threatening to take my mum's things!

She's in tears....and shit, and she's ranting on for about 15 minutes. I tell her I'd call my brother, and let her know what he says. I do, and he says that he'd call his dad. I felt bad for her, cos this is again, another situation that my brother's gotten my mum into, but at the same time it's down to her as well cos my brother knows that he can get around her! She let's him get away with murder!!

So after work I head to her house-see how everything's happening. I ask if my brother came to the house. She says no-that he spoke to the bailiffs and told them that right now he had £300 and wouldn't have the rest for a few days. The bailiff seemed to be ok with this-don't know what the actual arrangement was, but my mum was no longer upset, and seemed to accept what my brother told her-me like her though, I would've called them bailiffs myself to make sure they wasn't intending to turn up at my gaff in the morning with removal vans and shit! But hey-can't tell mum nothing!

My cousin who I haven't seen for ages came down. He had given my mum, my grandad's funeral DVD. There's history with my grandad-but that's a whole other post on it's own. He came down to identify various people in the dvd. The funeral took place in Jamaica, but none of us were there....as we watched the DVD, my cousin identified my mum's brothers (none of whom she speaks to anymore-again-whole other post), who's kids are who etc.....even though it was a sad thing we were watching. my cousin was giving the most joke!!!

My mum said that she wanted to take the kids to Jamaica next year, cos her mum hadn't met the younger kids....my cousin was like 'don't go in August, that's when my daughter's getting married' Congrats to her! She's like 20, she's been with her dude for a year now-bless him, he came to my cousin and asked for his daughter's hand in marriage! How cute?? I was like 'don't you think she's a bit young to get married?' He was like 'but at this age they're having kids etc' I was like true dat.....I'm happy for her still! So that's a wedding (I really hate weddings) for us all to go to!!

Right now I'm in my house chilling! I've been so tired recently-even though I'm going to bed relatively early...I'm a bit stressed out as well-nothing major, but enough for me to need a holiday!!!!!

Anyone wanna hook me up????

Loss

Just wanna say RIP Dr Donda West, the mother of Kanye West. I pray to God to keep her soul, and to give Kanye and loved ones the strength to go on....My heart goes out to them.

I'm still here

This week, I've been soooo stressed....and you know what-I can't actually pin point why!! I haven't however resorted to cigarettes.....I have been without a fag for over 2 weeks! Soldier is majorly proud cos he's thinks it's cos of him (which it kinda is cos I got tired of the moaning!) Just feels like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders-and I'm not doing a very good job of it...

Soldier came by and saw me on Friday. He told me the other day that he wouldn't be able to come up and see me because of Remembrance Sunday (which is today) he would have to be a part of the parade for all the lost soldiers in World Wars 1 & 2 and the other wars since then. But his friend was leaving camp on Friday and so he went out of his way to get a lift up to London to see me....bless him! So we spent Friday together which was real nice. He told me that he sneaked off campus....then he's like 'you see how important you are to me?' aww bless him...I did go on about how much I missed him, but I didn't want him to do anything to get himself in trouble...if he got caught he would have been fined and for someone as careful about money as he...that's a big deal.Why do I feel special that he'd risk all that for me???

Was up at the crack of dawn on Saturday (4am to be precise) cos I was heading to France for the day, so I didn't spend Saturday with him....instead I was with the fam....it was a pretty cool day out-nothing overly fancy! Got home at around 8....just missed Soldier which I was less than impressed about, but hey-that's how the cookie crumbles.

BORED!!!!

I'm soooooooo bored! Right now, I'm at my house watching soaps bored out of my friggin head! There's nothing to do, no money to go anywhere...it's all crap!! Soldier's at his Army base.....not seeing him til Friday evening....which feels like centuries away....

Sitting here thinking about what I'm gonna do for my birthday...*sigh* getting older sucks! I ain't got no money to do it big...I don't think I even want to (do it big)

I've got a headache-I think I'll stop moaning long enough to drag my ass to bed! Hope you guys are having a better Monday than I!

Conversation With Soldier

Whilst watching ‘Disappearing Acts’ the other day with Soldier, I thought I’d enquire how he felt about me, and us…..

Me: What do you want for us?
Him: I want us to be happy…be together…
Me: Are you happy?
Him: Yep…very happy
Me: Do you see us together in 30 odd years?
Him: Yep-We’ll get married, and I’ll take care of you, buy us a house, and have kids….
Me: Ok….so um, how do you feel about me?
Him: I’m in love with you
Me: *Stunned silence*

*After about a min of stunned silence *

Me: What you say?
Him: I’m in love with you. I’m really happy with you…I want us to be happy together
Me: *silence*……
Me: So you’re saying you’re in love with me??
Him: Yeah-I am

*He leans over and hugs me*

Me: Um….right…..ok……

Yeah…um….wasn’t ready for those lyrics…I didn’t say anything after that, we just kinda fell back into the movie….I like him a whole lot…but I don’t think I’m at the love stage….I’m in deep-like with him right now. Yeah, um, why did I ask? I dunno…..but honestly, that response I was NOT expecting....dunno what I was expecting…but it wasn’t that.

Tonight I’m introducing him to Nando’s…..might even go and see some fireworks display at the park later….Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Something To Say

So it seems I’ll be getting a new cooker tomorrow. And if I don’t, I’ll be moving out. Crap thing is I was ready to pack my ish and leave, cos the Landlord had breached so many things in the contract cos of the cooker, but now that he’s agreed to replace it, I can terminate my contract without leaving myself out of pocket….So for the moment I have to stay put, however, if tomorrow the new cooker does not arrive…then there’ll be problems!!!

This week has been pretty cool…been spending a lot of time with Soldier…he’s being so sweet-that 3 week trip has done the both of us the world of good. He brought his little girl to my house the other day-gorgeous as she is….and just my luck, she falls over and bangs her head-whilst at my house…you know you just think-of ALL the places and at all the possible times, it has to be at my house! But she was fine, had a red bruise on her head that was gone by the time she was taken home…I now won’t see him until Friday, cos he’s at his Army base giving back his accommodation and having his earlier release interview with his superior…he went for an interview on Tuesday and got the job (yay for him) so he needs to speak to these folks for them to release him.

I’ve got an assessment for a new job in the next 2 weeks. After that whole thing that happened with my manager when my Grandad was sick, I realised how much I hated being here….and after nearly losing him twice, I realised that life really is too short to sit around talking about what I wanna do and not getting off my ass and getting it done. So I’m actively job hunting…finger’s crossed I get something real soon, cos I’ve seriously had enough of being here!

My dad called me the other day (why?!?!?!) My granny told him that I had moved out, and all this, so he calls me asking me about the flat, chatting shit bout how he's gonna come and see my place (yeah right-whatever) and that he's gonna help me every month (again-yeah right, whatever)...chatting all this shit in my ears. Now before you start thinking that he's making the effort, and I'm just being hard and not giving him a chance, please know that he does this all the time. Whenever my Granny has some words with him, he calls me, chats shit and promises things that he can't deliver. I've accepted the way things are with us-he's not there for me in any way and that's just the way it is. It pisses me off that he keeps trying to waste my time...like on a real, if I didn't know any better I'd be so happy cos he's telling me all the things that he'll do, and when he doesn't come through I'm left disappointed! At the end of the day, I'm damn near 25 and everything I've got, acheived and done in my life I did without him......SO he needs to stop kidding himself, and wasting my time chatting shit, cos at this stage in my life I.DONT.NEED.HIM!

I don’t actually have much else to report…this is why I haven’t blogged for a while, cos there’s nothing to really report….So for now...

P'd Off

I was meant to get a new cooker this week. I called the Estate Agent on Monday and he spoke to the Landlord who said that I will get said cooker before Friday. Today is Thursday-I had not heard from the Estate Agent. So I call....he says that he will speak to the Landlord and get back to me. He calls me 10 minutes later (a record for him) and he tells me it's bad news....I'm thinking right....ok-he tells me that the Landlord has no money and therefore will NOT be getting the new cooker, and I have a choice of dealing with the no oven, 3 hobs sito or move out.....GREAT! So I think I'm moving out. He said that I won't pay rent for next month-that my deposit will cover that, and I'll be leaving this place 10th December.

I've just decided that I'm gonna move....I mean if it really was JUST the hob, you know what I could probably deal with it...but no oven as well? Nah bun dat! I'm getting outta here! I'm pissed cos I actually like this gaff....it's nice, and is pretty much perfect for my needs....but hey what can I do??

I had my broadband installed today...woo hoo....it's a package I got with some digital channels....ain't this a bitch though-soon as the engineer leaves, none of the friggin channels work...and the customer services system has gone down....so I'm even more pissed!

Soldier's back....he came back on Tuesday. We had a good ole talk....and we're cool.....He turned up at my house yesterday...totally unexpected in his Army get up....looking all sexy and shit! LOL!! It's nuts how he thought nothing of driving 2 hours just to see me....and then driving 2 hours back....aww bless him!!

*sigh* I'm gonna take a nap!

The Week's Roundup

This week has been a madness to say the least...quick radio edit....my toilet broke again….the landlord had the cheek to tell me to piss in a bucket. Then I had my brother on Saturday night, and when I went to make him some lunch, I discovered the main oven didn’t work. Spoke to the landlord directly, and he claimed that it did work. I asked him when he would be fixing the hob, he says ‘isn’t 3 hobs enough?’ I tell you, this man takes the piss. It got to the point where I had just had enough. I spoke to the Estate Agents, and just went mad. Told him that I had had enough, and wanted to move out. He was like ‘nah, we’ll get it sorted.’ The toilet is now fixed-there’s a new flushing mechanism in place, and they’re buying me a new cooker….I’m giving them until next week to have that shit installed in my kitchen…….

My Grandad’s doing well. He’s still in hospital-the doctor said that he could be coming out either today or tomorrow, but it’s not looking likely for today…he’s definitely on the mend, so if he doesn’t come out this weekend, it’ll probably be next week….I’ve been staying with Granny and being spoilt rotten! Come home from the hospital and dinner’s ready…she even does my laundry!! ‘me free paper soon bun’ as my mum would say…when I’m back home it’s back to doing it all myself!


Spoke to Soldier the other day….he was being so sweet….I really miss him….but it’s finally getting towards the end of the 3 weeks….he’s back on Monday, but he’s heading back to base on Monday night, so I’ll only see him for a few hours……until the weekend…..but from Monday there’ll be much time to talk about things you know….work out what it is we want and where things will now go…but for the most part we’re good…

My SFAM found out she’s pregnant. I’m overjoyed! I’m sooooo excited! She’s still in a bit of shock, but her boyfriend is happy about it too….Her whole fam is excited too…well her mum took a while to come round to the idea, but she’s looking forward to her 1st grandchild.

My dad bought his daughter a £4,500 Renault Clio this week. He was at the hospital on Wednesday and was telling my uncle, who in turn told me…..I drove past his house yesterday and I saw the Black 54 (2004) reg car parked in his drive. As soon as I saw it, my blood was boiling. My reaction kinda surprised me…but then it kinda didn’t. I mean, she gets a car bought for her when she passed her driving test….my first car was my sisters old banger, and I had to get finance to get my Smartie…and my Dad didn’t even batter an eyelid when I told him I’d passed….not even ‘what are you gonna get for your first car’/ I just feel a bit put out….When I got to my Granny’s (which about 2 minutes later) I was still in a bit of a mood. The other day she told me that she would tell my Dad that I’d moved out on my own…I told her to do what she felt she had to…cos I wouldn’t have. So last night I asked her if she told him. She said yes. I asked her what he said and she was like, he just asked how long ago you moved. I was like, is that it? She said yeah….but you should have told him’ I was like seen, then she started going on about how our relationship should be better…..then she was like ‘if you heard that he was sick over at his house you wouldn’t go and see him’ I was like I dunno…the thing is my Granny would no doubt drag me there kicking and screaming!! I actually hate him….I would prefer if I never saw him again-instead I have to sit opposite him at my Grandad’s hospital bed!! Grrrr!!!

Moving on….this evening I’m out with the work people….we’re going to the theatre to see ‘Puppetry of the Penis’…as the title suggests it’s a show of men doing interesting things with their penis *ahem* not sure what to expect from the show….but I’ve heard that roller skates and burgers just two things that these men’s penises will be made into…..should be fun!!

Aight, I’m gone…..Have a good weekend!

A Wha Di Raaaaaas!!!!

I just come off the phone with the Estate Agent. He’s asking me about the toilet and such. I told him that I grudgefully had to clean up the mess, and that the flusher appears to be working. I asked when they were coming to sort the cooker, but he wasn’t sure….something to mark in my book to chase up again next week. So then I say, so what did he say about using my toilet…..He said that he asked the landlord about it….and hear what the nasty lickle raas man said: ‘I left it cleaner THAN IT WAS BEFORE’ You did what?! I couldn’t believe my ears…so I’m laughing….I was like ‘seriously-is that what he said?’ The dude was like yep-that’s what he said…so I’m like so what’s he tryna say? Cos if how he left it was cleaner than it was before, than what does that say about the condition of the toilet BEFORE he dropped his kids off in it!! I was like the asshole-what’s his number?!?! Cos try know I’m ready to have a few words with ole dude…..I didn’t get the number (dammit), but I’m SETTING for that Landlord!! Even the estate agent was shocked by the response, cos obviously he knew what my reaction was when I moved in and the flat wasn’t cleaned-even though he swears up and down that he did….I told the Estate Agent that we (me and the Landlord) clearly have different standards of clean, and in my opinion, he lives like a frigging animal…..dyam feisty and out a order (as Granny would say)

I still can’t believe the cheek of the man…but it’s all good though innit-cos I’ve just checked my bank and guess who hasn’t gotten any rent money? The money’s sitting there in the bank, but it seems that the estate agents haven’t set up the payment thingy properly cos the money’s still sitting there….hmm….wonder how long it’ll be before they notice!

Pissed off & sh*t!

Thank you all for the prayers….Granddad is doing well! We almost lost him twice! He was in High Dependency Unit, and then he got moved on to a ward yesterday. He’s doing good! He had viral meningitis…..heck knows how he got that, cos he don’t ever go anywhere, but hey, it’s what he had….but he’s on the mend!! So whilst he’s in hospital, I’m staying with Granny…

Ok-now for the ranting!! And I apologise now-this ish is LONG!

I’m not sure if I mentioned this at any point, but at my flat there’s a couple of things that piss me off. Firstly, I have an electric cooker-it’s the halogen kind (I think) you know the ones that when you switch it on, the ring goes red…? Well that’s what I’ve got. So when I moved in there was a note by the cooker from the Landlord stating that whenever I used the cooker I had to switch off the cooker by the switch cos the front left ring would constantly stay on…..Soldier found out the hard way that that ring is hotter than a muthafucker, and you WILL burn ANYTHING that you’re tryna cook on it.

The 2nd thing is the toilet flusher….it’s the button press kind…and if you push it down too far it will take days before it comes back up-what kinda shit is that??…..when I moved in, there was a little note beside the flusher informing me of this. My little sister used my toilet, missed the note, pushed the flusher down too far, and it took damn near 2 days for the shit to come back up.

I spoke to the Estate Agents numerous times about these problems, and he agreed that it needed to be sorted, however, this was never done. Being fed up, I called again last week, and the estate agent told me that he could get a plumber to me this Saturday, but that the electrician was crazy busy, and that he’d call me to arrange a visit. Fair enough….I thought I’d give him a week and be back on his case…my biggest issue was the toilet…cos let’s be real, I don’t cook all that much anyways!!

Fast forward to yesterday, as I said before, I’m staying at Granny’s, so after the hospital visit, I stopped by my house to get some more clothes. Walked into the kitchen, and the cooker light switch is on. I’m thinking, I don’t remember leaving that on….hmm….something said to me that someone had been in my house-but surely not cos no one has told me anything…..so I go over to the cooker and turn off the switch. Something told me to switch it back on again and try the front ring…..wow-it doesn’t come on at all now….I’m thinking great…I’m gonna be speaking to the estate agents tomorrow cos clearly there’s a bigger problem. I needed to pee….so I head off to my bathroom….*Deep breaths* My toilet seat is up……now NEWSFLASH I do NOT pee standing up, so clearly I have no reason to have the toilet seat up (and this by the way PISSES ME OFF), so I’m mad cos this is evidence that someone’s definitely been in my house…but oh no IT GETS WORSE! I go over to the toilet, and see toilet cleaner squirted all around the toilet bowl….and up along the rim….AND there’s shit particles in the actual toilet! So now I’m spitting venom….because
1) Someone’s come in my house without me knowing
2) Somebody’s gone SHIT in my toilet
3) The perpetrator didn’t even clean up behind himself.
I’m so mad!!!! I’m about to clean the bathroom, and I think you know what-fuck it….and I pick up my keys and head out the door. I go to my sister’s house to pick up a job spec for a new job I’m looking at. After I tell her when I’m mad I then remember I left my house without ANYTHING I went there for…I leave my sister’s house, and head back home. When I get there, I realise I didn’t pick up the thing that I went to my sister’s house for…I grab my clothes and I leave.

This morning now, I call the Estate Agent, all guns blazing. The dude I need to speak to ‘has the day off’ How frigging convenient?!?! Anyways, I tell the chick on the phone EXACTLY what’s happened. She tells me the dude isn’t back til tomorrow-I tell her I don’t care, cos this needs to be sorted TODAY. She says she’s get the managing director to call me. Few hours later, the dude that ‘has the day off’ calls me. I rant at him…he tells me that they KNEW that the LANDLORD was heading to my house but FORGOT to tell me. He then goes on to tell me that they’ve removed some element from the dodgy cooker ring, and will get whatever part is required to fix it….and they’ve also fixed the toilet-did I check. I told the dick wad that I was LESS than impressed at the fact that people were roaming up in my yard without me knowing, that they broke the terms of the contract, which state that I receive 24 hours notice of intent to enter the property, and that I didn’t see why I had to clean up behind a man, when I’m not living with one. He babbled on about how the reason shit happened the way it did was because he pressed the landlord to handle the problems as a matter of urgency-even though I’ve been in the property for a month, and only NOW it’s urgent, and that it was his fault for not calling me….I told him I didn’t care, and that something had to be done. I told him I hadn’t checked the toilet-I’ve left it EXACTLY how the Landlord left it. He said that he would call the Landlord, and then call me back. Please believe that was over 4 hours ago….but you know what-he’s just adding the fuel to my fire, cos you see tomorrow? It’s ME AND HIM!!! TRUST! **breathe deeply**

Moving on, I didn’t go and see Chris Breezy yesterday. Though I was mad excited about winning the tickets, that excitement was lost when I nearly lost my Granddad twice. I intend to be at the hospital every single day until he comes out. So I told my sister L that she could have both tickets, and she went with her BFF….I haven’t spoken to her today, so I don’t know how the concert went, but I don’t think it was anything less than FIYAH!!!

It’s been 9 days without Soldier…..*sigh* still another 13 days to go…I spoke to him yesterday and he was being SOOOOOO sweet!! I miss that dude like crazy, but the time apart is doing us both some good………

Ok, I think I’ve jabbered on enough for one day…besides it’s nearly home time….and I need to be out this place!!!

Worst Day

After yesterday’s events, I could be starting this post with some very bad news…..We almost lost my granddad yesterday. He’d had, what the doctors initially diagnosed as Gasteristis when they came to see him on Sunday evening. He’d been vomiting since Saturday morning….and was in bed all weekend. When I went to see him on Sunday he was in bed. I’ve never ever seen my Grandad ill other than the common cold…but when I spoke to my Granny on Monday, she said that the doctor had come, and said that he should continue to take painkillers. So you can imagine how I scared I was when my aunty called me at work to tell me that they had taken my Grandad into hospital cos he was deteriorating…..I asked my manager if I could go to the hospital, and the way she reacted shocked me to the ground…and then Miss Stubborn kicked in, and I was like you know what-it’s ok forget it! I called my aunty and told her to call me when she got to the hospital.

Lemme take you back real quick-so I went home early on Monday cos I had a a migraine, and I said that I would make up my hours during the week. My manager skinned up her face at that, but I knew I could do it. Yesterday she was going to one of our offices in London…it was convenient for her also as she was going out on the town in London that evening too……so anyways, when I say can I go home, her face and attitude is fierce, so I’m well annoyed. In my bid of making up my hours, I was to stay at work until 5.30-instead of my normal 5 o’clock. So considering what’s happening, I say to her that I’ll leave work at 5, and then make it up later….again the face is push up…I’m so pissed by this point, cos she’s acting like I’m just trying to leave work for the hell of it….if you missed it MY GRANDAD’S FRIGGIN SICK IN HOSPITAL!! I’m so annoyed now so I say ‘you know what just change Monday to sick, and I won’t make up the hours’ She huffs and puffs and then she’s like ‘can I speak to you outside?’ I’m like cool. We go outside and she goes says that she’s noticed that last week and this week I’ve acted like I didn’t wanna be here (work) I was like how have you figured that? She says that it’s cos I keep saying I wanna go home-I’m like what? So do you!!!! I mean really-who WANTS to be at work? Not very many people, but it’s something you have to do right? So I say to her ‘well not sure where you’ve gotten that from, but on Monday I had a migraine! I’m not gonna sit in front of a PC for hours in pain just for the hell of it, and today my granddad’s been taken into hospital-that’s not my fault, and that’s something I can’t control!’ By this point I’m close to tears….she’s like ‘I didn’t hear you say that!’ I’m like, but surely you would know there’s a reason why I wanna leave early-and even L (my friend) asked what hospital he’s in….if you didn’t know surely you would have asked WHY I wanted to leave! She’s still maintaining that she didn’t hear me say my gramps was in hospital…then she started going about how she’s doing my work….(her choice mind you) and all this other stuff…I stopped listening and responding by this point. Then she’s like, if you wanna go then go…I was like it’s whatever innit….and then I head back to my desk.

A little while later, I call my aunty, who’s at the hospital by this point. She’s in tears telling me it doesn’t look good. He’s in the hospital bed dazed and confused, not talking, and just shivering. She says the doctors have no idea what’s wrong with him……Fast forward a few hours, I leave work…my aunty calls me-my heart’s in my mouth, I’m anticipating bad news-thankfully she was just asking where I was. She’s no longer crying, which is a good sign. She says that he’s been taken for a brain scan. When I get to the hospital, and I see my granddad, my eyes instantly fill up. He looked so helpless…..I’ve never seen him like this. He had no colour in his face…I didn’t know what to do or say…I ask him how he was…he said he wasn’t too bad. My granny tells me that he’s much better…earlier he couldn’t even talk! I was only at his bed for a few minutes, me and my uncle go for a walk, and we talk. …neither of us could handle being there….We talk, and he tells me that my Grandad’s organs were on the verge of shutting down, when the doctor came by…and had he have been kept at home any longer he would have died. He then goes on to tell me the contents of my grandparents will….erm.,…didn’t wanna know ANY of that….don’t ever wanna think about losing either of them…..after a while of chatting and things we go back to the hospital ward….My gramps is tired, so we leave him to sleep. I kiss his forehead and tell him I’d see him tomorrow. I’m so glad that he’s doing better. Today he’s got loads of tests happening. He hasn’t been pee since Saturday morning, so they’re testing his kidneys and stuff.

I leave the hospital, go home, pack some clothes and then head back to my Granny’s. Can’t have her in the big ole house by herself! We change the bed covers on my Grandad’s bed (as he was ill, he was in the main room, and my granny was in one of the spare rooms),. After we remake the bed, she tells me of what happened today. Had he not of gone into hospital today, he would most definitely not be with us today.

This morning I’m absolutely knackered-I barely slept last night….but it’s the start of a new day. I’m just hoping things only get better from here.

Soldier called me on yesterday morning at like 3.15…wasn’t impressed, but it’s whatever! He’s arrived safe and all that….so that’s a good thing…..we had general chit chat, and I said I’d call him back yesterday evening, but with everything that happened I didn’t. I might call him later-depends on what happens.

To conclude this post, I’mma do it on a good note! I won tickets to see Chris Breezy in concert next Tuesday at the new O2 arena. On my way to work this morning, I was listening to Choice FM, and they’ve got this ‘Text Olympics’ thing going on each morning….where basically they give you a sentence, and you have to text it to them, and the fastest texter wins….so this morning the sentence was ‘I missed out on yesterday’s ticket so gimme that’…so I sent in the sentence…got a call back-I actually missed the call, but I called straight back and it was the radio station. The DJ asked my name and stuff, and said to turn down my radio, and they would check to see if I won. They were playing that new tune ‘watch my feet’ so when the song ended and I was on air, she asks me the name of the song I say ‘Watch My Feet’ and the other DJ tells to me to sing it….so yep I did…that’s right…I sang ‘Watch my Feet’ shoot-tickets are at stake here! They tell me I’m a winner, I scream down the phone! I won the tickets man!! I’m so gangsta at texting….I can do that ish doing anything-including driving…without looking at the screen!! Yep-Gangsta!! So I have to go down to the studio between today and Tuesday and pick them up. I’m gonna take my sister with me…cos she over loved Chris…I called her to tell her that I won…she’s like ‘Who you taking?’ I say I’m not sure just yet…but I’ll take her!…..That put me in a great mood this morning I must say! J I just hope from here today only gets better…though my friend L went home ill…dunno why she came in to be honest, cos she’s been sick before she left the house….but she’s home resting now.

Please keep my Gramps in your prayers, and have a blessed day!

Tuesday....

So this is day 2 of Soldier being away…and umm…let’s just say I’m handling it better than I thought I would, but not as great as I actually should. It’s not being helped by the fact that we weren’t on the best of terms (shock horror) when he was boarding his plane… I didn’t get to see him until Sunday…after he went back to his army base he went AWOL for a few days….and umm…I’m not feeling the reasons that he’s given….so…it’s kinda up in the air at the moment. I told him that he needed to take these 3 weeks to really think about what it is he wants, and I’m gonna do the same. I mean, you guys know how much I like this dude….however, I’m trying to look at the bigger picture here, and well, I have to protect my heart….I hate the fact that we’re here…I was hoping that this ish would be the real deal but right now there’s a big fat question mark hanging over us. He’s annoyed cos this holiday has kinda caused issues with us….more with him cos something’s going on with him that’s stressing him out and making him act weird, so I’m on his case cos of the way he’s acting…and it’s just a horrible sito and I’m not feeling it! So…..yeah, that’s that really….guess I can’t really say much more on that until he comes back and we see where things are….

Regardless of all that-how sad am I sleeping with his shirt!! Yeah-no comments here please! Lol!!

As I wasn’t handling Soldier’s departure real well, I smoked like a chimney and then I got a migraine, and I left work early. My manager was pissed as hell, but I didn’t care…..Slept for most of the day, had dinner and went straight back to sleep again! This morning my stomach feels like I’ve puked 6 billion times….and I haven’t! Today my head’s still a bit fuzzy, and my stomachs a tad quezy, and I have the cheek to be tired!!

For all those with enquiring minds (Ms Diva) I AM NOT PREGNANT !!!!!

I’ve decided I need a vacation! I don’t care where I go…just as long as there’s sun! I do however need money, and that doesn’t seem to be living here at the moment, so that’s that idea shot to the ground!!

As there isn’t much joy in this post I’ll conclude by saying that my phone line will be connected today, so I’ll have the net at my house……

Friday Randoms

Ok-so I’m sitting at my desk listening to the 3 other females talking about one of the ladies defecation. Now I know we all gotta shit BUT does everyone need to know it’s size, and consistency? I dunno about you, but to me that’s not light conversation! The continuation of this conversation is a sure-fire way to make me bring up the good ole Nando’s I ate for lunch! And I would not be impressed considering that ish was soo good and it cost me £5.50! Ain’t got no money to waste!!!!

I’ve been in a bit of a weird mood all day! Last night, Soldier went back to his Army base to see his doctor to get jabs in anticipation for his holiday to JA. He called me this morning at like 2.30am, cos he couldn’t sleep! And even though I was deep in my sleep-I still woke my ass up to talk to him for an hour!!! He’s excited now aint he? He’s going to see his parents who he hasn’t seen for 7 years! Bless him! I’m happy for him, but I don’t want him to go! I know it’s only 3 weeks, and I’m willing that time to go by real quick…but that’s purely for my own selfish reasons!!

I’ve decided I wanna do active hobbies…..a girl at my work place goes to a street dance class on a Wednesday. Truth be told, I’ve always wanted to do street dancing, but cos I’m such a scaredy cat, I’ve never joined a class cos I’ve never wanted to be the new girl in the class who everyone watches as she dances. But I’m a grown ass female now, and I’m thinking I need to get it done! So I think that’s what I’m gonna do. There’s also a kick-boxing class that my friend’s uncle runs, that I’m also considering partaking. It’s some hard ish though…I heard they do push ups AND sit ups! I can feel the pain in my muscles just thinking about it! I’m so unfit though-like the other day I skipped with a rope for literally 2 seconds and the next day I could hardly move cos every muscles seized up! I was in agony for days! And finally, I want to learn to swim properly….I can actually swim BUT only under water, and you KNOW I ain’t tryna swim underwater with a fresh perm! What am I-nuts???? Nope-not me! So I wanna get some lessons and learn how to float and shit, cos I can’t do that!!!! Then I’ll be burning 900 calories every hour that I swim (or so I’ve been told) and a new leisure centre just reopened by my house, so that’s my incentive!

Erm….I don’t think there’s anything else really…I’m just sitting here and so I thought I’d reach out to my fellow bloggers real quick! I’ll have my phone line up and running on Tuesday, so I’ll be a fully fledged Blogger once again from thereon in. Go Me!!!

Hope you all have a good weekend! Mines will hopefully be spent with soldier….but y’all already knew that!! ;)

Oh yeah-WOOOOO HOOOO IT'S FRRRRIIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!

Nothing To Report

I haven’t blogged for so long-and would you believe I have nothing….absolutely nothing to report…..It makes you wonder what my life is!!!

On Friday, I went back to Fridge bar and it was crap…actually maybe crap is too strong of a word-but it wasn’t anywhere as great as it was last week!! So I was unimpressed!

I spoke to the telephone company yesterday, and it seems that they can reconnect the line that’s in my house in the next few days-I have to pay a £50 deposit, but that’s it…and I get that back too! It’s much better than the £120 reconnection charge I was previously quoted….so by next week I’ll have a phone line….and then I’ll get Sky TV and broadband so I’ll have my own internet connection and more than 5 dry tv channels!! Woooo hooo! And the greatest part is that all that’s gonna cost me is £17 a month!! This means I’ll be able to blog surf again….which I haven’t done for sooooo long! There’s blogs I haven’t visited for way too long!!

I have nothing else…oh-this morning, on the way to work, a bird decided to crap on my car….please believe I was less than impressed!!! And it’s ridiculously cold outside-not feeling that! Winter is OFFICIALLY here!!!

So with that depressing realisation….I really have nothing…no news to report…no anything….so that’s me for now……

Oh-Soldier’s going to Jamaica on Monday….for 3 WEEKS……3 WEEKS I TELL YA!! I’m sad….I’m gonna miss him……

But seriously though….I now have nothing more….

A Tag and Things

Yesterday Soldier cooked for me! He cooked chicken and rice…and it was SOOOO good!! After dinner we had a wrestling match (don’t ask) I lost (pissed!) I had to surrender man! But I’m planning my revenge! Lol!!

Thanks for the comments on the last post! I am taking things real slow…I’m guarding my heart, and taking a note on everything! I know that there’s certain things I can’t control, but I have no intentions of walking around with my eyes closed!! One thing I’ve noticed about me since being with Soldier is I’m not afraid to say what I’m feeling…if there’s something that doesn’t sit right with me for whatever reason, I let him know! Unlike with Mr Man where I felt like I couldn’t really say what I wanted, this is not the case here! I hope that things go right, but you know what, if it doesn’t at least I’ll be able to learn from it you know? Ultimately, things are going at snail’s pace…..just taking each day as it comes!!

I actually don’t have anything today…so I figured I might as well deal with the tag Ms Diva dished out to me!! So here goes……

Accent – Typically Souf London….and it’s nothing like the English accents you hear on TV! I don’t sound anything like the Queen!! I actually hate my accent….but a lot of people (particularly Jamaican’s it seems) love it! *shrugs* Go figure!
I don't drink – BEER….AKA Piss in a bottle-enough said methinks! I actually don't like alcohol much full stop!
Chore I hate – Cleaning the bathroom…especially the toilet! Makes me gag!
Pets – I’ve never actually had my own pet….but me and dogs are good friends…..however, I’m not sure about having one in my gaff…though Soldier is trying hard to have me keep his Golden Retriever (no small ting) for 3 weeks whilst he goes on holiday…right…not happening!!
Essential Electronics – Has to the mobile phone!! What is life without it??
Perfume –I’ve discovered the heavenly scent that is Amour Amour….dunno who it’s by….but my mum got it the other day…the smallest bottle for £20….but it smells toooo good! Can’t see myself parting with that kinda cash for a bottle that small though!
Gold or silver – Gold daily, but when I’m accessorizing..when I’m looking more like a girl it’s usually silver
Job Title – Account Administrator (no where near as fancy as the title!)
Most Admired Trait – My stubbornness….believe it’s a blessing….but also a curse!
Kids – I love kids...especially when I can give em back! Lol!! I do want kids…someday though…Phobia – No phobias as such….but I have a string of things I hate……
Religion –Christianity
Siblings –4 sisters & 2 brothers!! I also have a half sister, which I actually don’t claim as family….but for the purpose of this, she gets a mention….but that’s it!
Time I wake up – as late as possible! Work days no later than 7 (and that’s pushing it)
Unusual talent/skill –It’s not unusual…but I’m a mobile phone genius (yeah I said it) I can conquer the runnings of a mobile in a day! (cos I’m heavy like that! Lol)
Vegetable I refuse to eat – Brussel Sprouts….
Worst habit – Have quite a few….but I’ll say losing interest in things way too quickly
My favorite meal – Spaghetti Bolognese, and anything with CHICKEN!! Yum!

Guess Who's Back?? (Forreal this time!!!)

So last night I went raving...me and my friend went to a club in Brixton....it was TOOOOOOO heavy! My goodness! I danced to every tune! Like right now I can't believe it was so good. The DJ killed it! Was playing album tunes.....you know the ones that you only know if you have the artist's album???? Those were the ones!!

Soldier and his boy (who loves off my friend) were meant to come, but didn't in the end, cos they don't like Brixton-so they got left! I was on FYAH last night-to be honest I don't even know why, but I had pure man's attention! I'm not even tryna hype it to be something it's not...but honestly there were just men all over tryna dance with me! I danced with a few (lol-check me though!!) I was told I had bare energy, that I had sexy moves (erm...right!)....The whole time though I did wish Soldier was there....but damn it if I was letting that stop my night!!!! And today I'm losing my voice....but it was really worth it!!

Soldier's been ON MY CASE something rotten about my smoking! It's getting on my nerves! Now before you all start agreeing with him, please note that that day I met him was the last day that I had a cigarette. Everything was going well, until his baby mama decided to call me and ask me what I'm doing with her husband! So you know I went straight to the shop to buy some smokes!! That was about 2 weeks ago...and was one of the worst weekends of my life...oh yeah-he's has a daughter....whom I didn't know about until 2 weeks ago.....So anyways we worked it all out, and we're cool now....however I haven't been dealing with the baby mama thing very well....on Weds he showed up at my house with his kid....I was less than impressed-purely cos he didn't tell me she was coming, and I didn't have the chance to prepare myself or anything. He got upset cos I wasn't all over her...and I told him that it was cos I was unprepared! She's a gorgeous little girl, and she looks just like him....anyways, whilst he's at my house, the baby's mum calls....I hear her tell him that she loves him-I'm pissed as sin! We have a talk....and though I know that he can't control what she says to him, he needs to shut it down when she does!!! He's acting like I'm saying he shouldn't be there for his daughter-but that's NOT what I'm saying! I would never tell him to do that-I've experienced 1st hand what it's like to deal with a shit ass father-and I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy-so why would I tell him to be that kinda person? He's asking me what I want him to do-but to be honest I have no clue. I've told him that I want him in my life, and I know that means his daughter will be a part of that too-and I can deal with that. The baby mama doesn't know about us...if she knows then she'll go on dumb with him seeing his baby girl-I don't want that-but at the same time her not knowing may be giving her the impression that she and he can get back together. I just don't want the drama man!!

He says he wants a future with me-and I want the same with him-I just wanna know-what happened to the honeymoon period! It lasted all of 2 weeks before drama started-but we're cool...we're getting on...I do feel pangs of jealousy (shit did I just say that?) when she calls him to talk of the baby and stuff-but I guess that's my hang up right..?

But anyways-with all that aside we're getting on well...and working towards a relationship....I'm happy.... :) I just spoke to him and he told me that my black earrings that I have on look nice...I mean who knew he noticed???? Aww bless him!!

So that's what's really happened over the past few weeks......but don't worry...I'm doing good, and things are good!!!! I've MISSED you ALL!!!!!!

Woooo Hooooo!

So I've been in my flat for 4 days now and I love it! I love it to bits and pieces! Living alone is exactly how I thought it would be-absolute bliss!! Though I say alone, I haven't really had much alone time....with visits from Soldier and the girls, it's been constant rotation, but I'm loving it....

Adding to the bliss-I've been off work since Wednesday-my manager tried to have me up about taking the time off-but it's my holiday days, so I'm taking them!!! So I've just been chillng....haven't cooked yet either...Monday my mum brought my dinner round, and on Tuesday and Wednesday my sis, who lives all of 5 mins away now, brought my dinner. Today-as in right now I'm back at mum's...I've had dinner-I'm just waiting for Soldier to come pick me up to take me home. Haven't driven my Smartie all day! Given it a well deserved rest!

That's about it really....just thought I'd take the opportunity to check in with you guys....I'm still alive....dealing with the ish that life's chucking at me, but I'm handling...loving my new found 'independence' (though I haven't cooked yet)...but the peace and quiet is the greatest! The fam came to visit earlier today, and I couldn't wait to get rid of em! I love em to bits....but I can finally say-that's enough now! Bye!! LOL!!!

Craziness done....I'm hoping to be back in a few.....trying to get the net in my house, but the phone company are tryna say I need to pay £120 to get the line up and running...WTF???? I'll be back.....

Just Passing....

My fellow bloggers-I’ve been away for far too long….but I’m coming back-slowly but surely! I’m in the process of moving into my new flat-I’m moving in a few hours to be precise….and at this new gaff there’s no internet-but it’ll be coming soon….in the meantime I plan on getting on here at every available opportunity!!

There’s not much to report in terms of the wonders of my world-Soldier’s still there..we’re getting on well…hit a major wall a few weeks ago..let’s just say he has a baby mama who’s a few sandwiches short of a pic-a-nic! But we’re on track, and things are going well….that and moving-there’s nothing else! My life is dry!!!

Gotta go-but I’ll see you guys shortly……don't miss me too much! :)

Soldier

So I guess it’s really time for me to tell you guys about that dude that’s keeping me away from the blog fam….(oh how I miss you all!)

Well since the evening he turned up at my house last Thursday, we’ve spent the hours of the evening/early morning together. He’s just so cool…we sit and talk for hours…and it’s mad weird, cos I didn’t think I could be that talkative…He’s really funny, and he makes me laugh…and he’s obsessed with my Smart car.

He’s a bit taller than me, medium build (whatever that really means…), he’s got beautiful brown eyes and the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen…when he smiles, I swear I get butterflies-each and every time! My whole family seem to love him….he met my sister the other day, and she thinks he’s cool. Apparently we (my whole fam) have been invited to some one’s party (haven’t a clue who) and they (my fam) want him to come along….it’s nuts-he’s already in there with the fam **raised eyebrow** for the moment though, it’s cool…we get on really well, and he makes me smile, so it can’t be bad can it?

Our 1st date was on Saturday evening. We went to a bar around the way, and we just talked the night away! Dropped him back to his house at about midnight, and then headed home. Then about 10 minutes after I get in, he calls me and he’s like – are you going to bed? I say no….we then meet up shortly after, he gives me a cute little flower that he picked off the bush…(yeah I know….but it was soooo cute!) and we drive around, talking….He held my hand the entire time :) I didn’t get back into my house until after 3am on Sunday morning!

He comes by my house to see me spontaneously which I love….I’m loving this happy feeling! :)He was meant to go back to the Army base on Sunday, but he called them, and told them that he was sick, so he’s in London for a few more days…not sure when he’s going back…but I know I’m gonna miss him when he does…

For right now though, we’re just taking each day as it comes….not trying to rush into anything….just taking it reeeeallll slow! Things are going really well, but I do fear it’s a little too perfect….but you know what-whatever happens, happens….I’m just enjoying his company, his conversation and the way he makes me feel….

So....that's Soldier......any questions??

** I know I haven't been round to visit you guys much lately...but I'll be round really soon....so have the tea and biscuits ready!! **

Can You Finish This? Pt 2...

Ok, as I haven't been here for a lil while....I thought I would try and catch with my blog fam...see what's been going on with them....Whilst visiting Ms B's recent post, I thought I'd do as she's requested, by completing the sentences, but I've decided to post it as an entry cos I haven't done that recently....reason being, by the time I get home these days (after spending the evening with Soldier) it's time to get ready for bed....I'll let you guys know more about him later in the week....in the meantime...

1.I love my family, friends, myself (sometimes), my Smartie (car), being happy and making others smile
2.Right now I want summer-of some kind!!! If that's not possible, then I want to be out of this country!
3.I feel like slapping my brother up side his head for having the characteristics of a waste man, and not doing what he's supposed to with his son.
4. I hate it when I'm sad or when I feel helpless
5.I fear losing the ones I love
6.I'm lonely without the ones I love
7.I need to be loved! Oh, and be out of this country
8.Today I will do some laundry, look around my messy room...and probably spend the evening with Soldier
9. Tomorrow I'm not at work...I will be taking Khallai for the day...and chilling with him, my sister and Khamani
10. I just drank a glass of water, and now REALLY need to pee
11. I want to meet Timbaland...he's such a bad ass producer!
12.I'm hungry for nothing at the moment
13. I love it when I'm amongst good people with positive vibes and good company
14. I'm afraid of not accomplishing everything I want to before I die
15. I'm listening to 'Can't forget About You' by Nas ft Chrisette Michele
16. I'm wearing black jeans, black trainers and a black jumper
17.I wish I was in another country soaking up the sun
18. I'm craving more chocolate....the weight loss ting starts again on Monday (that's my reasoning anyways!)
19.I want to get at least 10% of that woman's £35.4 million lottery payout
20. I can be fine one minute, and be mad enough to kill someone the next....
21.I can't believe it's August and there's NO sun!
22. I have many regrets in life, but I can't go back to change them, so I've gotta learn to handle and learn from em
23.I haven't sworn at anyone all day...(well so far anyways)
24.I'm too nervous to let anyone other than a trained professional to teach me how to swim
25.My mum thinks I'm a great daughter :)
26.My dad thinks I'm a mistake he wishes he could erase
27. My liver...erm...is healthy??
28.I'm most happy when I'm having a good time
29. I'm sad when I try and find the reasons why my dad doesn't love me...
30. I like eating good food
31. I hate eating cucumbers, tomatoes, soup, oranges, bananas, boiled eggs...I really could go on
32. I love watching good tv and films
33.I love listening to music...and granny telling stories about the good ole days
34. I like playing with gadgets, video games that I can win!
35. I hate waking up to the knowledge that I've got to go to work!
36.I can see that it's nearly hometime!
37.I'm glad that my mum set me up with Soldier...he makes me smile! :)
38. I'm disappointed that I've wasted so much time on people who I now know did not deserve it
39.I look like Me, Myself & I....but apparently I look like my mum...and my Granny (on my Dad's side)
40. I wish I looked like no one but me....

And if you can finish this, head over here and do just that....(in her comments section...do as she says-I'm not tryna get you guys in trouble!!)

The Round Up

It was my plan to give you the roundup of what's been happening this week...cos I've been slacking in the worst way....but then this evening took an unexpected but expected turn..which meant that my initial plan of updating went out the window, and I just wanna talk about this evening!!

Basically, earlier this week, my mum tells me there's this dude she's tryna set me up with. I'm not really feeling the idea of blind dates, so I tell her I'm not really on it. She's tryna sell this dude to me; he's 25, he's a Soldier-leaving the Army in December, he doesn't smoke or drink-he drives his own car Then today, I'm at work, she calls me, and tells me that Soldier (that's what I'll call him) wants to know if I'm free tomorrow. I'm like nah-I wasn't lying either, I had plans with the girlies to go for drinks. However, throughout the day, it seemed that plan was dead...after talking with my big sis, I thought to reconsider my decision.

I'm at home, and my mum's acting all suspect...I knew something was up...something in me told me this dude would randomly be at my door...and whaddya know? I'm bout to get ready to watch Making The Band 4, and my mum comes to me telling me there's someone to see me!!!! What? My hairs looking a mess, I'm in my work getup (jeans and t-shirt)....why is he here! I was annoyed for a minute, but I gotta give it to that woman for being so darn persistent! So I go to my door...Soldier's standing there...introduces himself to me...we talk for a minute, then he says he has to drop his Uncle down the road, do I wanna come.....well not really-I'd rather watch making the band...but I decide to go anyway...we have good conversation, and he's real funny....get back home, he walks me to my door...says goodnight to me & my mum, and then calls me 5 minutes after! We're meant to be going someplace tomorrow...he's back to base on Sunday....he's cool....I'm not overly looking for anything...well I am, but not really-i mean it was only the other day I was yapping on about Mr Man...

So that's this evening......now for the week that has been:
-This girl I went to school with (who I lost touch with until recently) her Mum died on Saturday night. She had Parkinson's Disease....she asked me to come to the funeral which is next week, but I can't get the time off, so I told her I'd come to the wake...

-I have to pay £30 for a new wing mirror for some woman who's wing flew off after hitting the side of my Smartie door. It was technically my fault cos I opened the door too wide (cos I had too many things in my hands....I'm annoyed cos I had to pay a £60 parking ticket today too! So that's what £90 in a week cos of my Smartie! I think we need to have a talk (my Smart Car & I....seems he's costing me more than he should!!)

-The friend that I've mentioned here text me today, telling me that she was sorry she hadn't been in contact, but she didn't wanna talk to anyone. Her man's trial now, and she lost the baby. I told her I'd be here for her no matter what.....the wickedest is, the last time i spoke to her, which was a day after Khallai was born, she again acted like she wasn't tryna talk to me...talking bout how it was all about her, her man and her baby (she has a 6 year old daughter, and she didn't even include her)...when I told her my brother was now a dad she was like 'oh is it' really disinterested, and then started going on about something or another....so from then I'd decided to stop trying with her...cos clearly she wasn't interested.....then last night I had the maddest dream! I dreamt that Monnie was in London, and she was at a bus stop in the pouring rain crying her eyes out-real random right? And then later today, my 'friend' texts me to tell me of her woes...and what do I do? Roll up my sleeves, and be prepared to do whatever it takes to get the girl back on top form! Regardless of whatever, she doesn't deserve to deal with the heartache of losing a baby.

This day, tomorrow, 3 years ago, my boy A died...this day tomorrow one year ago my grandfather died, this day tomorrow is my SFAM's ex boyfriend's birthday. He past almost 2 years ago. So I think tomorrow will be bittersweet...I'll try and post tomorrow....

So for right now-that is all!

Something For My Grandma

'A Song For Mama' by Boyz II Men...That song is a dedication to my Granny...loving her is like food to my soul. Only Gods knows just how much I love that woman! I spent the whole weekend with her-haven't done that for a long while-it's usually jusy the Sundays. This weekend was really nice, spending a lil quality time with her, my aunty and lil cousin.


Yesterday, whilst heading back from dropping my aunty and lil cousin home my uncle called. After Granny spoke to him she told me that he asked her if I was with her, and that he always asks if I'm with her. So I say 'the only time I don't come round is if I'm out of the country' then she says that was what she told her Pastor; she was talking to her on Friday evening and Pastor asked her is she had had a good birthday. Granny answered no. Pastor asked why, and Granny told her that she didn't receive any calls from her children or grandchildren-bar me, my aunty, my uncle & my lil cousin...Now let me tell you real quick-my granny has 9 children all of which are alive. 7 were born in Jamaica, and the youngest 2 were born here. Of the 7 that were born in Jamaica 4 of them are here in the UK. 8 of her children all have kids...all but 3 have more than one child. Of those grandchildren I think 2 or 3 have children...so that equals 9 children, a whole bag of grandchildren and a dusting of great-grandchildren. YET-she only receives 1 visit (as my aunty & cousin don't live very close), 2 birthday cards and 3 phonecalls? You know I was mad right? To be honest, it's the same shit every year...me, my aunty, uncle and cousin make sure that my granny is made a fuss off-at the house it's just her and gramps...and they don't really do fuss.

So anyways, this conversation with Pastor lead her to tell me the story about when she sent for my Dad and Uncle from Jamaica. I've heard the story of how all my Uncles and Aunty came over here many a time, but I never tire of hearing it..but anyways it's so sad to know that after everything she's done for them, they turn around and shit in her face! My Grandad cusses about it all the time...I mean even my sperm donor didn't even call or come round-and he lives literally around the corner...shit like this hurts my heart.

My Granny is such a wonderful woman. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for someone. Even if she doesn't know you, if you come to her house, you'd be sure to leave with a ful stomach, plenty of love and a smile on your face. She has such a beautiful spirit, and it really does hurt me to the core to know that she's the head of such a large family, yet on 2 children, and 2 grandchildren have the time for her.

Growing up, my cousins,aunt & uncles....practically the whole family used to say that I was the one my Granny 'prayed to' (JA terms meaning loved the best & spoiled) but the truth is my Granny loved us all the same! I've being going to her house for weekends-every weekend since I was like 6 months old, we're mad close-we share unsaid things that no one else gets-and spoiled? Me? Are you serious?? Unless we're talking about being spoiled with unconditional love-then yep-Ill hold my hands up! The funny thing is she, nor my grandad remember my birthday, but I blame their head not their heart!

I love it when she tells me stories from back in the day, with all the Jamaican sayings and stuff. I hope I remember them them to pass on to my kids. Granny has shown me you're only as old as you feel, and more time she's like a spring chicken...when we're dancing and acting the fool up in the kitchen.

And there are times when I wish the sperm donor wasn't even that...but regardless of whatever, nothing would or could have me wish for greater grandparents. It's cos of this love that I have for my Granny, that I don't ever want to think of life without her. So when she talks of her Will I don't wanna know about it. It's upsetting and it gets me mad cos I know all them children, the bag of grandchildren and the dusting of great-grandchildren will be coming through with their hands out saying 'gimme'...I'm setting for them...

So...that's one of my leading ladies you guys...My Grandmother...the lady that would make me Milo tea every Saturday and Sunday morning, cooling it by pouring it from cup to cup and then scooping out the bubbles (otherwise I wouldn't drink it), who would let me lick the bowl from making rum cake (lol), who'd always cook my favourite-roast breadfruit with Ackee & Saltfish whenever I wanted it, and who in turn I would give my life for.

My Granny..the great lady she is..
'...you took up for me
When everyone was downin me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life'

A Lil Bit Random...

So once again I've gone AWOL...I've kinda lost the feelings to blog...dunno why...but I just have....but I know I need to fix up and look sharp...but moving on...

Sunday was ok-to be honest, I felt like I wasted my damn outfit! But hey it was a b'day ting, and we were all tryna make the effort, so maybe it wasn't all lost!

I actually wanted to post yesterday, but AOL was fucking with me, and so it was not meant to be. It was the birthday of one of the leading ladies in my life....my granny...Oh how I love that woman so! She's just turned 72...and you know, she don't look a day over 50! And after having 2 knee replacements, and some kinda surgery on her hand, she's still driving, still wearing tracksuits and trainers and ish...and goes to church every Sunday! That lady's baaad I tell ya!!! I went to see her, and she fed me some chicken and rice-damn was it good!! Whilst we're eating dinner, we're talking about one of her friends that died couple years ago, and how she left everything to one daughter and grandaughter....then she was like Jamaican accent 'Is ongle one ting me a do before dis year dun if me live' not thinking I'm like 'what?'She's like, me nah tell yuh....2 secs later...change me will....I was like right ok-I don't wanna hear anymore...forget it forget it....I mean what is life without Granny? You'd think she'd stop talking bout it right...?? Ha-nope, she proceeded to tell me stuff...I tuned her out, cos it's not what I ever wanna think about! Unrealistic maybe, but to me my granny will live forever!!

Today is my brother's birthday....the daddy...the one that's a daddy, but is still tryna act like he aint got no responsibilities...tryna check gal out on the road, whilst the 'wifey' is at home with the baby....who rolled up outside my house today with some renking dutty gal who was quite clearly DRAGGED UP...who had to be reminded....however indirect (as I wasn't EVEN talking to dat ting)that there's a girl and baby in the picture-regardless of what he's told you......if you wanna risk getting arrested by the feds for driving an unregistered, unlicensed car on the road for some dude-go head!!! How mad am I at the fact that the baby has changed NOTHING for this boy?????? So mad, that letters can't form into words to fully, and I mean fully explain.....I mean what is praising in him one day...and then having to replace those words with bullshit like this?

My other brother got grounded today! ROTFL how pissed is he? Reeeeeal pissed! He went to his friends house couple doors down...he was told to be home at 8...he rolls up in the house at 8.30...like he's any big man! My mum wasn't home..so I'm like 'what time you call this?' he's like 'I was eating' Reeeallly?? So what you aint got food in your yard, no? You know what time you're meant to be home, but you sitting there eating food...? Ok.... Mum comes home-
Mum:'what time you come in?'
He:'8.30...'
Mum:'why was you late?'
He'I was eating food'
Mum: 'Right-so you're grounded!!'

So if you're wondering-chicken and rice is sooooo sweet-that it's worth being on lock down for at least a week during the summer holidays! Oh I'm so glad that those days are 'so gone'....

Moving on......I'm not feeling work, I'm not feeling my living arrangements.....and umm......*shrugs* that's all...I have nothing!

What I've Got (and haven't..)

This morning, I went to see the nicest studio flat. It was newly converted, and had brand new everything. It was the ideal property.

After the viewing, me and my sister deliberated and decided that this flat was the one. After I got home, and sorted out a few things, I called the estate agents and the guy that I spoke to told me that he would speak to the landlord and get back to me on Monday. Cool...

About 10 minutes later, the estate agents calls me to tell me that the flat was gone-that someone who had viewed the place yesterday had come in today and put a deposit down...and that was that!!!

I was real disappointed, and was in a bad mood for a minute, but I've figured there's no point dwelling on it, cos it won't make the flat available for me, so it's back to the drawing board....

Baby Khalai came home today, haven't seen him, but my mum said that he's changing...it's mad how baby's faces change day to day! Can't wait to see him again. Might go down and see him this week...

On other news, I have completed my outfit. To accompany my bad ass top, I have these denim shorts...

Paying attention to detail-here is the back pocket...

and front pocket...

And these gold (though they don't look very gold in the pic) pumps...And to complete this all...these accessories...
So that'll be me tomorrow...Oh...please excuse all the mess that's been captured in my pics..not only am I a tad messy, I am also a tad lazy-so much so, I couldn't be arsed to move the crap..

Anywho, I'm off to perm my hair....laters..

The New Addition...And Some Ranting...

Ok...so I know I've been AWOL for a few days...there are numerous reasons for this, which include the viewing of flats, much frustation and stress at work, and having nothing to say...

Today is all change! I became an aunty for the 3rd time today! My nephew (my brother's son) Khalai was born at 4.05pm today!! Sooooo excited! I went to see him...he looks like a lil china doll. He weighed 6lbs 6oz and is simply gooorgeous! Both baby and mum are doing fine. They should be coming out of hospital tomorrow morning!

My brother (who's now a daddy) went to JA last week-he was actually meant to go for three weeks, but he only ended up staying for a week-he came back yesterday (good thing too)...we were talking about Jamaica, and I find out that he stayed in the hotel that me and my girlies stayed in last year...and there's a very big chance that he met Mr Man...unknowingly of course...but very, very possible...

On to other news, I got the remainder of my outfit for Sunday today. I went for denim shorts instead, and some gold pumps. When I have a minute i'll post em. I also got me a new pair of trainers. I love em! Those were £35, and then they had a white pair, which I also want for £25...I was tempted to get them both....but I really couldn't justify spending £60 on trainers in one month...so that's on my wish list...hopefully to purchase next month!

Saw a flat today....it was ok...not quite what I'm after, but it has potential...with a few changes here and there it may be the one. I've got a viewing for a brand new studio in the morning, and I have a feeling this is more what I'm after. It's more expensive than the one I saw today, but I'm guessing it's more up my street-but I'll see tomorrow!

Now all the nice news outta the way...I must now vent my anger and frustration, and the increased desire to move out of this house!!!!Ok, so I've been out all day. I come home with my brother from the hospital, and I'm in my room, putting away my stuff. My lil brother says to me 'S found the key for your CD box and took out your CD' I instantly get mad.

Sidenote: I HATE HATE HATE when people touch my stuff without asking...WORSE if it's my CD's!!! Everyone knows what I'm like when it comes to my possessions, and it's a general unsaid rule to never touch such items without permission, as I am known to cuss and rant...and possibly cause one some damage.

Anyways, I look at my sister S...and she says (referring to my lil brother) 'you muthafucker'...Please also note, that this was said outside of the bathroom, which was occupied by my mother at this point. So she walks past me heading to her room to get the CD...as she passes me, I punch her in her back, and then she tries to hit me back...now this girl is strong-she's like 13, and she play fights with my 21 year old brother (which I don't even do)...so before she can hit me back I push her...her rooms a tip, she trips over something and then falls on the floor. I'm seeing red now so I'm like 'where's my cd' she's like I don't have it-I put it back' blah blah...I tell her I want the key. I walk out of her room, and I'm ranting to anyone that's listening...then her room door opens and I hear metal hitting the floor. My brother goes out, and sees the CD that the stupid girl took and the key. I'm even more mad now cos I know say that you didn't find the CD in the passage...and you're tryna fling it to me like I'm some dog...so her room doors shut, and I kick it-knowing that she's behind it...and I'm still making noise and ting. My brother goes home, and my mum emerges from the bathroom. I tell her, she needs to deal with her daughter...cos I WILL hurt her!! My mum goes over to my sister's door, and she's like who broke the door.....Hear what this feisty lickle raas pickney says...'the little bitch did it'....now hold on one raas minute...who the FUCK are you calling 'a little bitch' she could NEVER be referring to me!!! So I'm making my noise, but I'm not coming out my room, cos I know I'll do her something! Now I'm thinking my mum's gonna do or say something regarding the fact that 1)she's calling me a bitch and 2) that she swore in front of her face....erm...yeah, still waiting for my mum to say something! And THAT'S the reason why this chick has no damn manners or respect for anyone or their property. I don't even swear in front of my mum, and I'm a grown ass woman....I was like....MAN I can't WAIT to be outta here!! Fuck this shit man!!!!

*Sigh* so after all that, went to the shop, got me some chocolate, and some drink, and I'm now watching Ace Ventura...and about to check out some of my favourite blogs!!

I'll be back....

UPDATE@2:15am
Ok, so it's been a good few hours since my last post. It's after 2am...I can't sleep, and I hate blogger cos it's not letting me leave comments on other peoples blogs....hmm...maybe it's not Blogger-and just crappy AOL!!

I decided to start my laundry. I go to the machine, and there's a load in there that's finished. They belong to my sister S. So I'm unloading, and I come across my black Nike shorts. Again, I'm mad...

Let's back track to earlier today. It was surprisingly hot today, and I decided I wouldn't wear my joggers, cos it's simply too hot. I'm looking for my black shorts...and they are no where to be found. I look in my wardrobe endless amount of times. I see my navy blue pair, but they weren't the ones I wanted to wear. I knew -that I had them both in my wardrobe, cos I remember ironing them both. I knew they wouldn't be there, but I looked in my 'to be ironed' pile...I haven't worn them for a little while-cos let's be real, there's been noooo sun!

Admitting defeat, I decide to wear the navy blue ones. I ask everyone in my house what t-shirt I should wear...I even say, I can't find my black shorts....

So you know I'm hella pissed now that I see this chick has not only worn my shorts without permission, but that she watched me look high and low for the ruddy shorts when the WHOLE time it was in her laundry basket! She thinks she's so slick! I know she had intended on washing them, and then put them in with the rest of my clothes thinking I wouldn't notice!

I asked her about it (she was half asleep mind you) and she's saying that she never wore them, that she doesn't know how it ended up with her clothes (though I do my own laundry seperate from everyone elses)...I gave her a swift warning: 'Don't make me find ANYTHING more of my tings in your possession'....I seriously need to be out of this house!! I'm at my wits end man! I can't be dealing with this!