Thank you all for the concern & well wishing for my Gramps. I've just come home from seeing him, and he's doing so much better. He's definitely on the mend....he thought the doctor told him that he could go home tomorrow, but they took some samples today, that they're awaiting results from, and I think when he goes home depends on those results.
Soldier...*sigh* he just doesn't have a clue....and to be honest, right now I don't have the energy or brain space to direct him...tell him what he needs to do, how he needs to act in order to support me through this...New Years Eve he called me when he was on his break...at this time I was at my Granny's waiting for the ambulance to head to the hospital...I tell him that I was off to the hospital etc...and throughout the 2 minute conversation, I just felt he was so insenstive to the situation. I know he was trying to lighten my mood, but it wasn't working. When I left the hospital on New Years Morning, he'd just finished work and was calling to wish me a happy new year and find out how my gramps was. I was on my way home, and he was round the corner from where I was. So I go off to meet him, and we head to his house. From when I actually got into my car I just started crying...I couldn't let my Granny see me cry-I had to be strong for her, so soon as I was on my own the emotions overcame me.....
So anyways, as we drive, he holds my hand and he's talking to me about nothing in particular. He tells me that he'll be coming to see me in the morning...so I say-why don't you just stay at mines? He's like 'I'll come in the morning' Ok, whatever. Drop him home...and we're sitting in the car. He tells me that he doesn't think I should be on the road but 'he's too tired to drive'....he tries to hug me, but I push him away....then he tells me he'll speak to me later, and steps out of the car. Please note, that I was crying when he left the car. I sat there for a minute trying to get myself together, before I headed home. Didn't hear from him until the next day, when he kep t texting me asking if I wanted him to come and see me...I was so hurt but his actions the night before. Truth be told, I just wanted him there to hold me...to console me...to tell me that everything was gonna be ok...but he didn't...cos he was tired. Long story short, he came by the house, I told him how I felt about what happened the night before, and he just couldn't comprehend what I was trying to get through to him. He's like 'i don't know what you want me to say or do..' And that shit gets me mad...I mean, I've already told you how I've felt in the simplest of terms, and you're asking me what you should do?? Are you for real?? I told him that if he needed me to tell him, then please believe you'll continue to wait. Told him I hoped he & sleep were very happy together, cos clearly sleep was more important than being there for your girl....He can call me at 2 in the morning, and even if I'm asleep, I'll still talk to him for an hour, I can be in the hospital for 5 hours but I'll meet him, and take him home...I mean, for me it's nothing for me to do these things for him...but for him it's not the same.
Now-is this normal male behaviour? Being totally oblivious to everything around? My friend reckons he may have needed me to literally spell it out for him...but I don't have the energy for that....the last I checked, he was a grown ass man...I'm still a bit hurt, but I've got more important things on my mind, and other things that to me are more important than tryna figure him out right now.....So yeah, he's in my bad books right now....I haven't spoken to him today...just can't deal...not today-I'm so tired it's a joke....so people-i beg you help me out here..am I making this into something bigger than it really is??
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My sister has been with her hubby since she was fifteen and he was 18...that was NINETEEN years ago!
The secret to their success (she told me just recently) is that she has learned to tell him EXACTLY what he's supposed to do when he is lacking.
My BIL is one of those manly mans and THINKS he contols things, but only what she LETS him control. She's real crafty at telling him what to do without him really realizing it. I have to learn how to do that...right now I dont have the patience!
I know you would not deal with a guy who you honestly thought didn't care about you. Obviously he cares, but he does not know how to go the extra mile.
I tell ya one thing though...the next time he called me @ 2am, I'd say something like "Babes it's late and I'm tired...you know how YOU get right? Well that's how I feel. We'll talk later."
But honestly he's a man...that's the bullshyt their inconsiderate thoughtless azzes will do. Aren't relationships great?
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