Not much has happened since the last blog, but I thought I'd type something, cos I'm avoiding doing some work!! It's so rubbish outside-it's cold and rainy-I swear it's rained non stop for way too many days now! Roll on Summer I say!
My LF's mum is getting buried on Monday-not looking forward to it at all! With this passing, it's made me think alot about my boy A, who passed away 3 years, this year. I haven't been to visit his bench for ages, and I'm thinking to do it this Sunday, after church. I know death is a part of life, but it's so horrible-I mean, what is never seeing that person again? Just thinking about all those that has passed, is so depressing. And the hardest thing to digest is that until I go, there's always the knowledge of knowing that other loved ones are gonna go to.
On the plus side, speaking to my sister today, her friend's baby is coming out of hospital on Friday. She was born prem, and has been in the hospital ever since, but is now strong enough to come home. Pleased about that!!
Ok-now I've gotta do work-so I'm gone....
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
A New Day.....
Sup? Been mad few days, but I'm just tryna deal with it-tryna do things as normal. Went to Pizza Express with a couple of the girls-just to kinda take the mind of everything that's happened. I feel bad though, cos it's like, whilst we're here enjoying an evening out my LF is having to plan a funeral-I mean it just doesn't seem right you know?
It was a pleasant evening though, my and my SFAM was out with the Double D's (nothing to do with bra sizes!) which was nice, cos I can't think of a time when it's just been us-wasn't the usual pairing, but it was really nice. We just talked freely, and had a good time. Didn't leave there until almost midnight!
This morning, back at work (yesterday was bank holiday), can't say I'm glad to be back, but hey-gotta pay those bills somehow!! And with that said....better get on and do work!! Peace.....
It was a pleasant evening though, my and my SFAM was out with the Double D's (nothing to do with bra sizes!) which was nice, cos I can't think of a time when it's just been us-wasn't the usual pairing, but it was really nice. We just talked freely, and had a good time. Didn't leave there until almost midnight!
This morning, back at work (yesterday was bank holiday), can't say I'm glad to be back, but hey-gotta pay those bills somehow!! And with that said....better get on and do work!! Peace.....
Monday, 28 May 2007
Sad Weekend.....
This is possibly the most stressful weekend I've had this year!! Ok, so on Friday I got a text from a friend of mine. Basically her baby father has reported her to Social Services, and so they are coming to see her on Tuesday. I feel bad for her, cos there's not much that I can actually do. She's been through so much with him, and it's like, he won't quit until he breaks her!!
Saturday, my SFAM went out of London with her boyfriend for the weekend. They got into an arguement, she drove into the next car park, parked the car-when she got back to the spot that she'd left him in, he was gone! He was missing for 5 hours! She had to call the police and everything! The poor girl was beside herself, and I felt bad cos there was nothing I could do cos I was so far away! I was ready to jump in my car, and drive down there! He turned up though-he'd walked like 15 miles back to the hotel!
This morning, I got up-was going to my sister's house to do her boyfriend's daughters hair. I'm getting ready and I get a call from my LF. Her mum had passed away. I was in utter shock! I mean, it was only last week that she said that she was dying, and then just a week later she's gone. She was in tears-she wanted me to call all the girls and let them know. I got off the phone with her, and broke down in tears. I then started the process of calling the girls and telling them the sad news. I then headed up to my sister's house, did the little girl's hair and then went on to my granny's house. Spoke to my SFAM most of the day-she wanted to head up to LF's house, but I wasn't sure, as she did say that it wasnt what she wanted. My granny suggested that we go there tomorrow, so that's what we decided to do. My family had gone to 2 christenings. I had decided from yesterday that I wasn't gonna go, but i didn't fancy going home to an empty house, so I went to my SFAM's. We went for a drive, hung out in the car, and then decided to drive up to my LF's mum's house. Her car wasn't there, so we decided to go round to her house. The car was there. I called her, and we spoke. She told me all about what happened this morning with her mum. It was so sad-so much so, that I won't type it. After about 10 minutes, I was like, what are you up to cos my and my SFAM is outside! We went in, and then we spoke for a little while, and then she headed back to her mum's, and I headed to my SFAM's house. We both feel so much better after seeing my LF....seeing her, makes us both realise just how strong she's been. She's just thinking about supporting her siblings. All of the girls are here to support her, for when she needs us and when she does'nt.
At her house, we played Street Fighter and Sonic! Then I headed home, and right now, I'm here watching Mean Girls-I luv this film!! Anyways, I'm bout to head off, and watch the rest of the film! I'm out.....
Saturday, my SFAM went out of London with her boyfriend for the weekend. They got into an arguement, she drove into the next car park, parked the car-when she got back to the spot that she'd left him in, he was gone! He was missing for 5 hours! She had to call the police and everything! The poor girl was beside herself, and I felt bad cos there was nothing I could do cos I was so far away! I was ready to jump in my car, and drive down there! He turned up though-he'd walked like 15 miles back to the hotel!
This morning, I got up-was going to my sister's house to do her boyfriend's daughters hair. I'm getting ready and I get a call from my LF. Her mum had passed away. I was in utter shock! I mean, it was only last week that she said that she was dying, and then just a week later she's gone. She was in tears-she wanted me to call all the girls and let them know. I got off the phone with her, and broke down in tears. I then started the process of calling the girls and telling them the sad news. I then headed up to my sister's house, did the little girl's hair and then went on to my granny's house. Spoke to my SFAM most of the day-she wanted to head up to LF's house, but I wasn't sure, as she did say that it wasnt what she wanted. My granny suggested that we go there tomorrow, so that's what we decided to do. My family had gone to 2 christenings. I had decided from yesterday that I wasn't gonna go, but i didn't fancy going home to an empty house, so I went to my SFAM's. We went for a drive, hung out in the car, and then decided to drive up to my LF's mum's house. Her car wasn't there, so we decided to go round to her house. The car was there. I called her, and we spoke. She told me all about what happened this morning with her mum. It was so sad-so much so, that I won't type it. After about 10 minutes, I was like, what are you up to cos my and my SFAM is outside! We went in, and then we spoke for a little while, and then she headed back to her mum's, and I headed to my SFAM's house. We both feel so much better after seeing my LF....seeing her, makes us both realise just how strong she's been. She's just thinking about supporting her siblings. All of the girls are here to support her, for when she needs us and when she does'nt.
At her house, we played Street Fighter and Sonic! Then I headed home, and right now, I'm here watching Mean Girls-I luv this film!! Anyways, I'm bout to head off, and watch the rest of the film! I'm out.....
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Another Day
Just a standard day...I'm totally wrecked. I haven't been sleeping much of late....alot on my mind. As a result, I look busted!!!!
Was talking to this girl I went to school & college with (we then lost touch) on MSN, and she was saying that her mum was dying as well-from Parkinson's Disease.
I mean, I don't know what's happening right now man. It's like everything is mad crazy for everyone!!
Anyways, must dash.....Me...
Was talking to this girl I went to school & college with (we then lost touch) on MSN, and she was saying that her mum was dying as well-from Parkinson's Disease.
I mean, I don't know what's happening right now man. It's like everything is mad crazy for everyone!!
Anyways, must dash.....Me...
Monday, 21 May 2007
The Bad News
So.....yeah, it really was really bad news. My LF's mum is dying. She's been ill for a for a really long time, and of late her illnesses have gotten worse, and right now it's at the stage now where the doctors reckon there's nothing more that they can do for her. They're apparently surprised that she's lived this long, but she's defied their predictions. I'm hoping and praying that she continues to do so.
Even typing this right now, it doesn't even seem real. I just wanna cry, I mean, surely this can't be happening. I've known this woman for so long, and it's like, what is losing your mum at 24/25? I can't really imagine what my LF is going through, but I know that what I'm feeling, and for her and her family I know it's 10x worse.
Since I've heard, I can think of nothing else, and I haven't been sleeping. This morning I'm absolutely knackered, cos I didn't sleep at all. It's hard to really put things down into words, I mean, it's almost like it's a bad dream that I can't wake up from.
And you know, when we met up on Saturday, SFAM was at the table with her face all pushed up-she's clearly still pissed at me, but you know when you think, seriously, in light of everything that's happening now, surely it's not the time to be focusing on you and you're hang ups?? But nope-as self absorbed as she is, she couldn't think of anyone other than she.
After the meeting, I met my family at Nando's. It was my brother's birthday, and he went to nandos and then on to bowling.
You know, everyone's trying to keep things normal, but it's so hard. The delivery of the news, just puts things into perspective. Let's you see what is, and what is not important. Family & friends are what's important, and stupid little arguments are just that. I'm not gonna focus on pettiness, and likewise I'm not gonna waste my time & energy on friendships that are no more. It's all about my LF and her fam, cos ultimately they're going through hell right now. Please, pray for them.....
Even typing this right now, it doesn't even seem real. I just wanna cry, I mean, surely this can't be happening. I've known this woman for so long, and it's like, what is losing your mum at 24/25? I can't really imagine what my LF is going through, but I know that what I'm feeling, and for her and her family I know it's 10x worse.
Since I've heard, I can think of nothing else, and I haven't been sleeping. This morning I'm absolutely knackered, cos I didn't sleep at all. It's hard to really put things down into words, I mean, it's almost like it's a bad dream that I can't wake up from.
And you know, when we met up on Saturday, SFAM was at the table with her face all pushed up-she's clearly still pissed at me, but you know when you think, seriously, in light of everything that's happening now, surely it's not the time to be focusing on you and you're hang ups?? But nope-as self absorbed as she is, she couldn't think of anyone other than she.
After the meeting, I met my family at Nando's. It was my brother's birthday, and he went to nandos and then on to bowling.
You know, everyone's trying to keep things normal, but it's so hard. The delivery of the news, just puts things into perspective. Let's you see what is, and what is not important. Family & friends are what's important, and stupid little arguments are just that. I'm not gonna focus on pettiness, and likewise I'm not gonna waste my time & energy on friendships that are no more. It's all about my LF and her fam, cos ultimately they're going through hell right now. Please, pray for them.....
Friday, 18 May 2007
Update on News........
It's bad news......whatever it is, it's bad.
I just spoke to my LF and we talked for a minute, cos I told her about the pub being shut, and then I asked if it was good or bad, and she said bad-but that was all I was getting. But she didn't sound upset or anything. I told the girls about the pub, and another venue was put out there. I called my LF back, and told her, and I heard her mum talking in the background, and she sounded fine, My and my LF shared a sec of joking, so that's made me feel a little better, and made me conclude that my LF may be pregnant.
Having emailed MSFAM she was like, but why would it be bad news. I guess to my LF it just might be-I dunno, but it's what I want to believe, and I'm hoping that's the case.....I'll keep ya posted.
I just spoke to my LF and we talked for a minute, cos I told her about the pub being shut, and then I asked if it was good or bad, and she said bad-but that was all I was getting. But she didn't sound upset or anything. I told the girls about the pub, and another venue was put out there. I called my LF back, and told her, and I heard her mum talking in the background, and she sounded fine, My and my LF shared a sec of joking, so that's made me feel a little better, and made me conclude that my LF may be pregnant.
Having emailed MSFAM she was like, but why would it be bad news. I guess to my LF it just might be-I dunno, but it's what I want to believe, and I'm hoping that's the case.....I'll keep ya posted.
News....??
Ok, So I'm at work, and I get an email from FE, freaking out, asking if we all got the text, and what on earth it means. I've left my phone at home so I'm totally confused about what she's on about. I reply saying so, but I'm so impatient, and I'm starting to freak out myself, so I call my sister from another mother (MSFAM), and she reads the text message from my Longest Friend (LF) and the text says that she (LF) has something to tell us all, and that she can't tell us over the phone, and that we should meet up tomorrow at what was our local pub at 1pm. I mean what does this mean? What's the news? MSFAM starts crying-she's like what does it mean? We're all thinking the worst! I was like it's either something to do with her mum-who's been pretty ill for a while, or it's that she's pregnant! I know we're all hoping and praying that it's the latter.
I'm freaking out at work now-I don't know what to do-my phone's at home, and I don't know the number off by heart. So whilst I'm freaking at work, my Office Buddy (OB) tells me not to worry too much-it's probably nothing major, but she doesn't know my LF, she's not a hype chick and isn't the type to create something out of nothing. I'm seriously hoping that it's nothing bad, cos I really can't take any heartache right now!!
FE calls me on my office phone, and we're in the same mode-unsure of what to think.....we ended the conversation on the hope that it's something positive.
Oh-I've just had a thought-when I passed the local pub the other day it was being worked on-I think it may even have been shut. So when I go home I'll call her, and let her know that the pub may actually be shut.........fingers crossed that it's not bad news....I dunno what I'm gonna do if it is.
On other news, it's my lil brother's birthday today. He's 9. I mean, where's the time gone? It feels like only the other day him & my nephew (they're 2 weeks apart) were born......how time flies!!!
I'm freaking out at work now-I don't know what to do-my phone's at home, and I don't know the number off by heart. So whilst I'm freaking at work, my Office Buddy (OB) tells me not to worry too much-it's probably nothing major, but she doesn't know my LF, she's not a hype chick and isn't the type to create something out of nothing. I'm seriously hoping that it's nothing bad, cos I really can't take any heartache right now!!
FE calls me on my office phone, and we're in the same mode-unsure of what to think.....we ended the conversation on the hope that it's something positive.
Oh-I've just had a thought-when I passed the local pub the other day it was being worked on-I think it may even have been shut. So when I go home I'll call her, and let her know that the pub may actually be shut.........fingers crossed that it's not bad news....I dunno what I'm gonna do if it is.
On other news, it's my lil brother's birthday today. He's 9. I mean, where's the time gone? It feels like only the other day him & my nephew (they're 2 weeks apart) were born......how time flies!!!
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