Weight

Hmmm...this evening I have quite alot on my brain....alot of thoughts swirling about, alot of feelings and emotions floating about inside.

Last night, I had a really vivid dream that my Grandad died. I know dreams usually do, but this dream felt so real. I can't remember how he died, but I remember me, my aunt & granny went to Jamaica, to St Elizabeth-where he's from, to tell his family that he had died....it was so wierd cos none of us were crying.....this morning I woke up, and my heart felt so heavy. I realised that it was a dream, but I was scared none the less.

I went to see my sister this evening, and she asked me a question about me and Soldier....She asked the question, and then made some comments...I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I left her house, I began questioning the question....trying to think of an answer to that question...and even now-some hours later, I still don't have a real answer. It's weighing heavy on my mind, I'm trying to let it out of my head, but it doesn't seem to want to shift.

Someone I care about has been hurt by someone, and I feel stupidly helpless cos I can't do anything. I'm mad thinking about the situation, mad that it's happened....I dunno....

There are other little things-small things that if I'm honest I can't really make sense of...but it's there-it's adding to the weight, the weight that's not shifting.

I tell ya, overly thinking is so not a good thing-in fact it's downright annoying-but how do you stop yourself from thinking? I swear I overly think in my sleep!

Just can't seem to stop the thoughts swirling around in my head, remove the weight...