To Love & To Cherish?

The other day Ms Diva & Deep were talking about marriage…you know typically, a husband and wife support each other, etc etc (not gonna go into the ins and outs-you guys know)…and it’s with the knowledge of a how a marriage is about a partnership etc, that brings me to the ridiculous situation my uncle is in. Yes I’m on the outside looking in, but this mess they’re calling a marriage is ri-damn-diculous….

Yesterday, I’m at work and my aunty calls me. She tells me that L (who is my uncle’s step-daughter) called her (my aunty) asking for my Dad and my Granny’s number. Now let me give you a quick background ting on this chick. My uncle and his wife sent for this girl with her sister from Jamaica. I’d met her on a previous visit to Jamaica. However, from my 1st meeting here-I was about 10, I did not like her. Don’t know what it was but, like my Granny would say ‘me spirit never tek to her’. When she came over to England she tried to act like her shit didn’t stink and she was the Queen of friggin England…so as time went on me, as well as other members of my family took a disliking to her, because her actions attitude etc….she was just dumb! Like, when I started having to wear my glasses all the time, she reckoned ‘I thought I was nice cos I wore glasses’ D’uh stupid head! I can’t SEEEEEEEE without friggin glasses! Just stupid!

So anyways, it’s been many a year since any of us (bar my uncle his wife and kids etc) have seen her, so her phone call is a bit out of the blue. So after about 10 minutes after my Aunty received the phone call, she called my Dad. My Dad tells her that L told him that my uncle D was down at his yard, drinking himself silly, not washing, not going to work-all kinda ting! And when she went to take him to the doctors he ran out of the house, and was found hiding in his car blah blah. Acting like the concerned Step-Daughter.

I’m instructed to call my Granny, to let her know what was happening, and well, my Granny was less than impressed. She’s got enough on her plate of dealing with my Grandad-tryna get him well, this week alone she’s had to take him to the doctors twice, and is taking him for blood tests at the hospital today…it’s like she doesn’t have time for the extra stress. Besides this is not the first time my Uncle has gotten like this. If my memory serves me right I believe this the 3rd maybe 4th time, and each time, it’s a whole bag of madness involving his wife, and L.

So when I get home last night, my Aunty calls me. My Dad went down to see my Uncle to find out what’s going on. After much probing, my Uncle eventually tells my Dad that L and his wife had forged his signature on a loan of £25,000 secured onto the house, without him knowing, that they are not paying, and the bank (or whoever the loan was taken out with) are demanding money from him etc…which was the first him knowing of this loan. Now, this is not the 1st time this has happened either. About 2 or 3 years ago the wife and L did the same thing….. What gets me mad is that L went out of her way to be able to contact my Dad and Granny to sort out my uncle, when she knows damn well the reason why he’s doing this to himself….you know you just can’t believe someone can be SOO damn brazen?!

It’s been suggested many times before that my Uncle should sell the house, sort out what needs to and buy a smaller house etc…but my Uncle doesn’t seem to want to do this. His wife has been cheating on him for YEARS! Everyone and his dog knows it. When their youngest child (who is now 12) was born, there was much talk of him not actually being my uncles child (it’s evident now that he is), and she has openly said, they don’t sleep together in the same bed, or otherwise, she demeans him in front of ANYBODY, the woman has NO respect for him whatsoever, and she basically treats him like shit. Yet he stays, Yes, they’ve been together for YEARS….I’d say at least 25 years, but surely there comes a time when you realise that your relationship is doing nothing but destroying you!
My Dad has said that he will arrange counselling for my Uncle with his pastor, cos he’s clearly an alcoholic, doesn’t have a positive view of himself etc. As the head of that side of the family (my granddad has only 2 children by my Gran), though he’s the youngest (bar my grandad’s two) he’s usually called in to sort things out with my uncle. It’s just funny how he can rep for them and not for his first born…but hey-that’s neither here nor there.

As an outsider looking in, seeing the way my Uncle’s killing himself, over this chick that doesn’t even care, to me it just seems the best thing to do is to be apart-they are technically anyway-just living in the same yard! My Granny’s told him, when he kills himself, all his wife is gonna do is move her ‘man’ in….who will fill his spot! Long for dat! Fix up and look sharp man! He needs to do what’s best for him and his children, and to me drinking yourself to death, or possibly losing that big ole house and leave you ALL homeless, is not the way!

I dunno, am I wrong in thinking this? What say you?