The Continued Hype

Just when I thought my Mum couldn't be anymore petty and immature acting, she's proved me wrong!

I haven't seen or spoken to her since the other day. Yesterday, on my way to my Aunty's house, I saw my Mum on the road. I was driving my Granny's car, and as we stopped at a red light, I saw her stopped on the other side of the road. I beeped the horn at her. She looked over, I smiled,the light changed and I carried on driving. I wasn't sure if she'd seen me, cos I wasn't in my car, and her facial expression have me no indication. So I called the house today, and was having an over long conversation with my youngest sister. My response was mainly 'yeah' cos I didn't understand some of what she was saying. She said 'do you wanna talk to mum?' But I said yeah, before I realised what she said...by which point it was too late.

So my Mum comes on the phone, I didn't know what to say really, so I was like have I got any mail? She was like yeah 2 letters. She seemed ok, so I was like, did you see me yesterday? She's like 'yeah I saw you grinning your teeth at me. Why're you grinning for? To show me you were with your beloved Grandma?'.....so we're clearly still being dumb. I was just like Mum, I'll talk to you, cos you're on some hype ting!' and hung up.

So WHY are we still here? Simply cos my Mum likes to forget she's a grown ass woman, and instead prefers to act like she's in a damn playground. As far as I'm concerned what happened the other day is dead now....over with....hence why I spoke to her! To me life is too short to be fooling around with stupid disagreements, but clearly my Mum doesn't think so.

I spoke to my sister, and my Mum brought a dumb arguement to her earlier in the week as well. My mum told my sister that I didn't do anything for her, so she didn't care if me and her wasn't talking. So now I'm like you know what, fine. If you wanna prolong this totally unneccesary disagreement then fair enough. It's whatever then!

I'm expecting a package that's being delivered to her house one day this week, and I've gotta give her money, and collect money from my sister, so I'm gonna go down there on Friday, and if she's still showing me bad face, then I'm done trying with her. I've got my own stuff going on, and I can't be dealing with foolishness too!

Again, if i've missed something, someone please tell me.....cos I really can't make sense of this at all!
------------------

My war scars!

These are my wounds......I laid laminate flooring for my Aunty....and I have wounds.....WOUNDS dammit!

I got a rash from the underlay...

...got my skin caught in between the boards when I was trying to click em together (you can see the rash more in this pic) ...

...and when sawing a plank, the saw somehow managed to jump from the plank I was sawing onto my hand and take away some skin.

Now the real PAINFUL wounds are the ones you can't see, but I can surely feel. My arm muscles are sore, my back hurts so bad I can barely stand straight, and my legs hurt so bad I'm shuffling instead of walking! I look like some hunched back old woman! It's a ruddy joke! But I got PAID so it's not too bad....though tomorrow I will be cussing all and sundry cos the pain will be worse!

I must say though, for all the pain, blood and sweat, the floor looks mighty fly....now it's a shame I didn't think to take a picture of that! Ah well!

Hope you all are having a less painful Saturday!!

That Friday Feeling

It's FINALLY Friday...damn it's been a long and tiring week! Shame the weekend isn't gonna be any easier. I've gotta lay laminate flooring for my Aunty....I'm gonna be in some serious agony come Sunday, but I'm getting paid to do it, so it's not all bad.

I actually have nothing to post about, and I most certainly do NOT have that Friday feeling....though that is what this post is titled...but yeah...everything is pretty much same ole...but I thought I'd share these boots that I got yesterday...my nephew got them firstbut I love em, so I figured I'd get a pair (and he loves me enough to have the same shoe as he), ...oh how it pays to have small feet! Here they are....not to everyone's taste, and very skaterboy-ish, but I love em...here they are....(and yes, I took the pics at my desk! lol)

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Catch up with ya!!

Tom_Gurl

HYPE!!!

Why is everything and everyone so hyped right now? I mean really why is it necessary?

I've been dealing with some stuff recently, and my head's been a bit over the place....so the LAST thing I need right now is an arguement.

So I just called my mum...haven't seen or spoken to her since Friday when we all went out for my nephew's birthday. It was her birthday on Sunday, and I had EVERY intention of going to her house, like I do most Sunday evenings, I called the house, and my sister told me that my mum was sleeping. It was like 8pm. So I'm figuring there's no point going down there cos she's sleeping, and she don't get up for nobody when she's sleeping.....SO considering I was going there to see her, there'd be no point if she'd be sleeping. So I told my sister to tell my Mum happy b'day.

Didn't think anything of it. The fam went to Nando's yesterday for my sister's birthday (pure birthdays in Feb) but I didn't go cos I was stupidly broke, and u knew my mum wouldn't pay for me cos she paid for me on Friday.

So Anywho, I just called her, and the first thing she says is "oh you remember me?" instantly I know she's tryna get into something dumb, so the conversation goes:
Me: what's that supposed to mean?
Her: "what I said"
Me: I'm sure you have a phone too
Her: What?
Me: Well if I don't call you, or come round you don't check for me
Her: That's cos you're always at my house
::Case in point...If I don't come to her house, I don't see or hear from her! And then when I come too regular I'm hearing 'remember you don't live here. She calls my older sister EVERY DAY...more time several times a day, but she don't call me::
Me:Ah whatever Mum
Her: Yes, well it was my birthday and you didn't even call
::Again, Case in point, ANYONE else can not call i.e. my brother, and it's NO big ting....me now it's drama::
Me: I did call, but them kids said you was sleeping.
Her: Yes cos I was tired. Why you call that time anyway?
Me: It was 8! I was gonna come down, but you were sleeping! How am I meant to know you'd be sleeping then?
Her: Cos I was tired. I am allowed to sleep you know! Where was you all day anyways?
Me: At my Granny's
Her: (Overly sarcastic) Oh yeah, the wonderful Grannyhas to come first
Me: you know what Mum-I'll speak to you later
::click!::

Erm...what just happened there? I was just calling to say hi, and I get all that? My Mum's ALWAYS has this thing that I always put my Dad's side of the family over her and my siblings so she'll always have something smart to say. It's not that they don't get on, cos they do...my mum is my cousin's godmother, and my Aunty is my youngest brother and nephew's Godmother...thought neither have seen their Godchildren since when and when time...but anyways!

I don't favour one side of the fam over another...not at all...No one can replace my Mum...same way my grandparents & aunty are irreplaceable. I think what's always gotten to my Mum is I've always had a closer relationship with my Granny and Aunty...but then, I talk to my Mum about things I don't talk to Granny & Aunty about....simple fact-the relationships are DIFFERENT!

My Grandad used to be MAD grumpy, so when them kids used to come to my Granny's, I'd shut the door quietly, otherwise it'd be hours of pure cussing...my mum would see that as me taking care of their house better than hers! I mean, gimme a break!

So when she has snide remarks to make about them, it DOES bother me, and it DOES get my back up....same way if I heard my Aunty or Granny saying anything about my Mum it'd be the same reaction...And in case you're kinda confused, I don't have the same Dad as the rest of my siblings.

So a simple 'hi, how are you conversation' has turned into something much more hyped...and I'm PISSED! I'm sooo not in the mood now, and being as stubborn as I be, I won't go by the house...unless it's to grab mail, and as stubborn as my Mum is, she won't talk to me...ah-this is SO long! Sometimes I wonder if this woman is really a grown ass woman!!

Tell me you guys-did I do something wrong? Honestly, what did I miss??????


------------------

My Grandad

(2 posts in one day...????)

I went to investigate the deal behind my death dream. I found this:

'To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances.'

And it made me think. My Grandfather is one of the very few positive male influences in my life. Despite the fact that my father is not his child, he never saw me as anything less than his grandchild. He treated me like a Princess, made me feel special. I remember when my cousin came over from Jamaica, and we had a fight (can't remember why) and he bit me on my arm (I still have the scar now) and my Grandad bought my this little dolly, with Ginger hair....this was the first and last thing I remember my Grandad ever buying for me, and I loved that dolly so...(until my sister convinced me to cut the hair cos it would grow back... the hair did not grow back (lol), and my mum eventually threw it out) but the relationship I have with my Grandad goes so much further than the material.

It's funny, I never really appreciated him until I nearly lost him. Grandad was soooo moany before he got sick. Like he'd always have something to cuss about, but with me and my lil cousin, he was always so gentle...never horrible...After he got ill, and he saw that he nearly lost his life twice, he lightened up a whole lot...I see now, he's appreciating life alot more, and is seeing that there is more to life than bricks and mortar....

The relationship I have with ny Grandad hadn't really been much the older I got. But in the last few months, we have become so much better. I always said, that when I got married, I'd want him to walk me up the aisle-give me away...cos he was always the Dad to me that my Dad couldn't, or just refused to be. When my Grandad got ill, I think that was the 1st time I actually looked at him as a real person-I know that sounds dumb, but to me he was always so strong, never sick, almost invincible, but seeing him on the hospital bed with tubes and machines beeping and things...I'd just never seen him so weak.

My Grandad is so special to me, he's the one that if he could, would protect me from every hurtful word, person and thing. That would move heaven and earth to make me happy. I tell Soldier all the time that he would be the person he'd need to win over...not my Granny, aunty, or even my Dad....My Grandad's the one to watch out for...he'd wanna kick your ass in a minute..lol...he'd grill your ass on everything under the sun...and if you're not a cricket fan, one strike against ya....not a Bob Marley fan....ah shit, that's two strikes...lol...my Grandad will always be my main man....Beyonce sang about wanting her unborn son to be like her daddy...I want mine (no I'm not pregnant....I'm just saying!!!) to be like my Grandaddy....He has so many great qualities...He is such a GREAT man...

'It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship'....Sounds somewhat similar to the question my sister posed to me this evening....If I'm honest...the answer is 'yes'.

Weight

Hmmm...this evening I have quite alot on my brain....alot of thoughts swirling about, alot of feelings and emotions floating about inside.

Last night, I had a really vivid dream that my Grandad died. I know dreams usually do, but this dream felt so real. I can't remember how he died, but I remember me, my aunt & granny went to Jamaica, to St Elizabeth-where he's from, to tell his family that he had died....it was so wierd cos none of us were crying.....this morning I woke up, and my heart felt so heavy. I realised that it was a dream, but I was scared none the less.

I went to see my sister this evening, and she asked me a question about me and Soldier....She asked the question, and then made some comments...I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I left her house, I began questioning the question....trying to think of an answer to that question...and even now-some hours later, I still don't have a real answer. It's weighing heavy on my mind, I'm trying to let it out of my head, but it doesn't seem to want to shift.

Someone I care about has been hurt by someone, and I feel stupidly helpless cos I can't do anything. I'm mad thinking about the situation, mad that it's happened....I dunno....

There are other little things-small things that if I'm honest I can't really make sense of...but it's there-it's adding to the weight, the weight that's not shifting.

I tell ya, overly thinking is so not a good thing-in fact it's downright annoying-but how do you stop yourself from thinking? I swear I overly think in my sleep!

Just can't seem to stop the thoughts swirling around in my head, remove the weight...

Random

Happy Valentines day people! If like me, you'll be spending said day at home...jamming, doing nothing I'll be on MSN and Yahoo messenger this evening...please note that you Americano's are at least 5 hours behind moi....and I'm an early bird these days...so in actual fact-you may not catch me at all! Lol!

I've taken the day off today. Smartie's a tad ill. He's been dropped off at the 'doctors' who are going to mend him and make him 100% again! AND I walked for a whole hour-none stop from the car garage back to my house-trust, my legs were like JELLY after! So right now, I'm sitting here waiting for the mechanical heads to call me back so I can trudge the hour journey back to get my car.

My shower drain is blocked and the Estate Agents were arranging for 'someone' to come and unblock it....um...please tell me why I got a call at like 11 (this 'person' was meant to come at 12) from said Agency saying that the landlord wants to reschedule for TOMORROW at 6pm....hmm...funny how we go from 'someone' to the landlord-that muh-fucka is ALWAYS tryna get up in my house! He's such a cheap skate! Instead of trying to mess me about,how about you allow the estate agents to deal with it! But you know what, I'm not even tryna worry about it. I say, yes-that's fine, but MAKE SURE he comes at 6 cos I've got things I need to do, and I'm not gonna be sitting here waiting for him. It was my nephews 1st birthdy on Tuesday, and we were meant to go to Pizza Hut, but he was a lil ill, so it got postponed til Friday. So instead of chowing down some pizza tomorrow, I'll be sitting here whilst this dude unblocks my drain! He'd better not try and take long either-cos I already can't stand his stupid ass!!

So yeah, dispite the fact that me & Soldier are on pretty good terms (looong story) we won't be spending this evening together...He's working ALL day....I hate it when he does these shifts, but as he is a 'spare' he hasn't got much choice. He started this morn at like 7....finished at 10 this morning, had 3 hour break and then has gone back to work, where he'll remain until they tell him otherwise! So in his 3 hour break, he came to see me....and we had a good time **insert cheeky but very satisfied grin here**...and now he's gone back to work...

And I've just had a call from the mechanical heads...seems they need a part for my car that they won't get til tomorrow...so I can either go back for Smartie and bring him back another day or just leave him there...so I'm just gonna leave him and pick him up tomorrow...which makes tomorrow after work really tight.

Ah the joys! Hope you all have a wonderful day...whatever you do!