To Love & To Cherish?

The other day Ms Diva & Deep were talking about marriage…you know typically, a husband and wife support each other, etc etc (not gonna go into the ins and outs-you guys know)…and it’s with the knowledge of a how a marriage is about a partnership etc, that brings me to the ridiculous situation my uncle is in. Yes I’m on the outside looking in, but this mess they’re calling a marriage is ri-damn-diculous….

Yesterday, I’m at work and my aunty calls me. She tells me that L (who is my uncle’s step-daughter) called her (my aunty) asking for my Dad and my Granny’s number. Now let me give you a quick background ting on this chick. My uncle and his wife sent for this girl with her sister from Jamaica. I’d met her on a previous visit to Jamaica. However, from my 1st meeting here-I was about 10, I did not like her. Don’t know what it was but, like my Granny would say ‘me spirit never tek to her’. When she came over to England she tried to act like her shit didn’t stink and she was the Queen of friggin England…so as time went on me, as well as other members of my family took a disliking to her, because her actions attitude etc….she was just dumb! Like, when I started having to wear my glasses all the time, she reckoned ‘I thought I was nice cos I wore glasses’ D’uh stupid head! I can’t SEEEEEEEE without friggin glasses! Just stupid!

So anyways, it’s been many a year since any of us (bar my uncle his wife and kids etc) have seen her, so her phone call is a bit out of the blue. So after about 10 minutes after my Aunty received the phone call, she called my Dad. My Dad tells her that L told him that my uncle D was down at his yard, drinking himself silly, not washing, not going to work-all kinda ting! And when she went to take him to the doctors he ran out of the house, and was found hiding in his car blah blah. Acting like the concerned Step-Daughter.

I’m instructed to call my Granny, to let her know what was happening, and well, my Granny was less than impressed. She’s got enough on her plate of dealing with my Grandad-tryna get him well, this week alone she’s had to take him to the doctors twice, and is taking him for blood tests at the hospital today…it’s like she doesn’t have time for the extra stress. Besides this is not the first time my Uncle has gotten like this. If my memory serves me right I believe this the 3rd maybe 4th time, and each time, it’s a whole bag of madness involving his wife, and L.

So when I get home last night, my Aunty calls me. My Dad went down to see my Uncle to find out what’s going on. After much probing, my Uncle eventually tells my Dad that L and his wife had forged his signature on a loan of £25,000 secured onto the house, without him knowing, that they are not paying, and the bank (or whoever the loan was taken out with) are demanding money from him etc…which was the first him knowing of this loan. Now, this is not the 1st time this has happened either. About 2 or 3 years ago the wife and L did the same thing….. What gets me mad is that L went out of her way to be able to contact my Dad and Granny to sort out my uncle, when she knows damn well the reason why he’s doing this to himself….you know you just can’t believe someone can be SOO damn brazen?!

It’s been suggested many times before that my Uncle should sell the house, sort out what needs to and buy a smaller house etc…but my Uncle doesn’t seem to want to do this. His wife has been cheating on him for YEARS! Everyone and his dog knows it. When their youngest child (who is now 12) was born, there was much talk of him not actually being my uncles child (it’s evident now that he is), and she has openly said, they don’t sleep together in the same bed, or otherwise, she demeans him in front of ANYBODY, the woman has NO respect for him whatsoever, and she basically treats him like shit. Yet he stays, Yes, they’ve been together for YEARS….I’d say at least 25 years, but surely there comes a time when you realise that your relationship is doing nothing but destroying you!
My Dad has said that he will arrange counselling for my Uncle with his pastor, cos he’s clearly an alcoholic, doesn’t have a positive view of himself etc. As the head of that side of the family (my granddad has only 2 children by my Gran), though he’s the youngest (bar my grandad’s two) he’s usually called in to sort things out with my uncle. It’s just funny how he can rep for them and not for his first born…but hey-that’s neither here nor there.

As an outsider looking in, seeing the way my Uncle’s killing himself, over this chick that doesn’t even care, to me it just seems the best thing to do is to be apart-they are technically anyway-just living in the same yard! My Granny’s told him, when he kills himself, all his wife is gonna do is move her ‘man’ in….who will fill his spot! Long for dat! Fix up and look sharp man! He needs to do what’s best for him and his children, and to me drinking yourself to death, or possibly losing that big ole house and leave you ALL homeless, is not the way!

I dunno, am I wrong in thinking this? What say you?

Just For Shits & Giggles

My friend sent this to me via email the other day....and it got me thinking....how well does my blog fam know me...??? I know you can only know so much...blah blah, but just for shits and giggles....have a pop at this:

1. Take a stab at my middle name?
2. Color of my eyes?
3. Do I have any siblings-if so, how many?
4. What's one of my favorite things to do?
5. What's my favourite type of music?
6. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
7. Any special talents
8. What attracted me to my significant other?
9. Describe me in 3 words...
10. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?

This should be fun....

Thinking Out Loud

Lil Monie posed a question to me: Describe my dream man, and I’ve been thinking about this for more than 24 hours-why I’ve been thinking about it for so long, I’ll never know, but anyways, whilst thinking of the qualities I wanted said dream man to have, I realised that Soldier had some (yes, only some) of these qualities….and then I went to see Ms B this morning, and she was talking about procrastinating, and then it was like, ok people, what are you trying to do me!

Ok, so that doesn’t make much sense, but basically I’ve been feeling like I’m kinda stuck in a rut….like I can’t go forward, and I damn sure aint tryna go back, so I’m just stuck…right here! Much of this situation is actually my fault, and whilst I continue to kick myself for it, the fact is, this is what it is. I’m in a job that I don’t love, but like, I enjoy working with the people that I do, I love the relaxed environment…blah blah blah, but the fact is, I don’t get paid half way as much as I need it to! I’ve been here for over 2 years, and my salary has not increased, yet my workload has…..and since the cost of everything seems to increase every frigging minute, my pay check is NOT cutting it! So-get a new job right….wrong! This is something I’ve thought about doing for like forever and a day, yet I’m still here.

I did apply for a job working on the tubes and stuff, and the salary was grand but I fucked up on the interview, and as a result did not get the job. Getting as far as I did on the recruitment stages did give me a boost….there were 3 stages, and I got through to the very last part, so I was feeling like yeah I can do this, but as I’ve seen, my interviewing techniques SUCK….like seriously! So basically I’ve just been here, at this job, moaning about how the pounds aren’t stretching enough blah blah, and have started looking for a 2nd job….why get a 2nd job? Well, I need more money-and I’m trying to think far ahead…I wanna do music production….the college I want to attend is NOT close to home, and is in the evenings, and this job right here would allow me to leave early here or there, to make said lessons….no I’m not yet at this college…reason…this course is EXPENSIVE! I’ve been meaning to sort out the grant application, that will pay for this course, but me being me, have not started doing this….not only because I’m sitting on the idea, but also because I need a grand to secure my place BEFORE I can sort out the grant application, and let’s be real-who’s got a grand? Not I!!

So last night, I’m talking to Soldier, and since he’s left the Army, he’s been talking about all these jobs he wants to get into. The boy is mad ambitious, and it’s a grand sight to see. He’s looking at trying to get his fingers into all of these pies..and whichever one comes through 1st is what he’s getting into. Last night, I was just thinking to myself, like why can’t I be as driven as this dude? He doesn’t let anything get in his way, whereas I’m the opposite. When I told him I didn’t get that job that I went for, he thought I was joking-like it was about a week before he actually believed that I was telling the truth. He kept telling me to reapply and was telling me all this stuff to try and make me feel better. Now in the beginning it was welcomed, BUT he hasn’t stopped banging on about it. I know he wants the best for me and all that, but it’s gotten to the point where it’s like bruv-I beg you stop now! This is not just the case for the job, but also my housing sito. I’m renting privately, and he’s saying I should move back home and save for a deposit so I can buy a property-but what he doesn’t get is that, this is not possible! He’s always trying to think of ways to help me, but sometimes it’s frustrating cos he doesn’t get that it’s not that easy!! He’s very supportive of me and the things I want to do, and he’s always trying to encourage me to do things to get said things in motion….

After I got off the phone with him, I was just feeling like man, what am I doing with my life-like forreal! There’s so much I want to do, but I’ve either sat on the idea for too long that it’s no feasible, the money is not there….there’s so many things stopping me from moving forward…it’s just like, ok so what now?

I know I haven’t really made much sense….there’s just a whole bunch of crap on my mind right now! I just wanna start all over again, and do it right!

Oh-and Dora was found….she was hiding in the cupboard under the stairs!!!

Erm...Bye Dora..!!

Ok, so minutes after just posting about my Mum's cat (below)...she's just called me to say the cat has gone! She managed to get out of the house this morning when one of the kids opened the front door, and it went out.....She didn't even last 24 hours in the house!!

Bad of me, I shouldn't have laughed, but I did. Not cos the cat's gone, but cos it didn't last in the house more than 24 hours!!

So that was Dora....but it seems she is no longer a member of the clan!

Dora

This...

is the new kitten that has currently taken residence in my mother's home. My lil sister has named her Dora....as in this chick...

The Spanish speaking chica, that my sister will watch religiously and not understand a word of!

Yeaterday after I went to Bingo with my Mum (our new Thursday ritual) we went to the neighbours to get the cat. It was after 9pm, and we were outside for ages waiting for the ruddy woman to open up....she eventually does and then she's like 'Oh, I was just in bed with her'...Erm...right ok...Me and Ma looked at each other....I know what she was thinking cos I was thinking the same 'Dyam Nasty'.

I mean, I like a pet as much as the next Joe, HOWEVER, such pet WOULD NOT find itself in my bed....what are you..Nuts??? Anywho, I take the cat, and the woman's there kissing up the cat telling it bye and all this....like proper kissing-with lips and stuff (d'uh, how else do you kiss?!)!!Rubbing her face in the cats face and stuff....again, I like animals as much as the next person, but again, you would not see my face up in no cats face!!!

Me and my mum were in stunned silence....'the cyat better not tink say it-a sleep ina my bed' says my Mum as we leave the house.....You know I did nothing but laugh!!

So my mum now has a kitten, a female that she (Mum) refers to as 'he' and 'him', and that my lil sister loves from a distance....(she's scared of it! lol) and a pet I can call my own ...until it wants to rub on me and all them kinda nasty tings, oh, and I won't be doing any of the 'pet owner' stuff either.

This is my 100th post....and yeah, I'm kinda clutching at straws of something to post, but I thought I'd post something (and introduce you to the new member of the clan) since SOMEBODY *side eye to Ms Diva* said that even if I have nothing to post...to 'POST ANYWAY'....so there you have it!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
(Please feel sorry for me-I'm working on Sunday! And have to be up at 6am! How unnatural is that??!?!?)

You're Not That Black...

That’s what I was told yesterday by one of the Engineering Manager’s sons. He’s 8, and has some disorder that’s like autism, but very different. There’s a name for it, but I can’t remember. He’s got a killer memory, and can talk the hind legs of a cat!

The last time he came to the office to visit, he told me I was cute, asked if I had a boyfriend and became infatuated with my hair…..so anyways, he came in the office again yesterday, cos him and his dad were going to a football match. He pulls up a chair beside my desk, and he’s talking away. He sees my tattoos and asks how long I’ve had em, so I told him, I got the one on my arm when I was 16, and the other about 2 years ago….then he looks at my arm, and then says ‘You’re not that black’….I thought I heard wrong, so I’m like ‘Sorry-what was that?’ He repeats it, and then goes on to say ‘ well you know black people-they’re like….black…but you’re tanned’ I had to laugh….I was like ‘right, ok’ …then he got up, and went up to his dad’s office-but not before he had my foot up his ass! Sike! LOL! I’m messing!! I didn’t hurt him…he kept throwing compliments my way!
Him: ‘How old are you?’
Me: ‘25’
Him: ‘REALLY? You don’t look it! You look about 18!!’
Bless him, I need him to come in the office to flatter me some more!! LOL!

So apparently, I’m not black…I’m tanned….in the eyes of this 8 year old!

Came into work this morning, parked my car in a space, as I do, walk into the building, and the Bossman’s PA/Financial Controller/Queen Pin/Top Dog…(you get my drift) comes running down….she needs me to do her a ‘favour’. In the Business Park that my building in located in, parking is pretty scarce considering pretty much everyone who works in the office has a car, plus there’s the company vans etc. This is made worse by the fact that they (who they are I dunno) have decided to renew the water pipes, that run in front of the building so that’s half of the spaces gone. There’s a Tigra parked in one of our spaces….now bossman’s PA does not ramp when it comes to badding up people who park in our spaces. She’ll leave notes on your car, curse you the f*ck out….and in this instance get someone with a Smart Car to block your ass in!



I’m not gonna pretend I’m not slightly concerned…what if the owner of this car is a crazed psycho who’ll ram and ram until he gets out? I’d kill a mofo who f*cks up my car….but hey, if anything pops off, my company better dig into the phat ass money pocket and cough up for any repairs on my car!!

This is Tom_Gurl officially back from Blog Vacay!

Blog Vacay

I'm going on Blog vacation (cos it seems to be the only kinda vacay I can get right now) Shouldn't be for too long....if something interesting happens this vacay won't last too long...I've got some crap I need to sort out, so I'm gonna go do that. I will, of course be checking in with my blog fam though!! See you in a few.. .

Oh and can I share that this morning on my way to work, my Smartie:(the pic is not my actual car, but it looks exactly like this:)
Was almost crushed by one of these:

As I was driving up the road...Smartie (with me in it) was almost the sandwich meat between that big ole ting above, and this big ole ting:

Please beleive I almost cacked my pants!!

Ok peoples...Tom_Gurl has LEFT the building! Don't miss me too much! :)